Last night… It fucking rained!!! I hate the rain; my very clean car got wet! I have to take a rain-proof jacket on my bike. It’s… wet!!! Stops you having fun outdoors. It’s always bloody rainin’ here. Ok, it hasn’t rained for 6 weeks and the entire country is totally desiccated. This ‘verdant isle’ is – Read More-
Tony Blair is the man for a crisis. He managed to orchestrate peace in Northern Ireland, FFS, so how hard can the middle east be? Compared to a bunch of militaristic kneecapping Irishmen who’d been murdering each other for 30 years? Oh, the Israelis and Palestinians have been doing it for nearly 80 years and – Read More-
So we were sitting in the garden on Friday night, before dinner. Drinks. Nothing posh, more: how can I get pissed most quickly and efficiently? Because of the temporary absence of Lila, Joey & co, cos they’re in Crete, it was a small affair. Just us, the younger daughter and the adopted daughter. Well, we’ve – Read More-
The A-level results came out on Thursday and, as a consequence, anyone with A-level statistics will be fine understanding the vast output of ‘data’ available in the press. If you got history/French/economics; don’t bother looking. You won’t understand. But two ‘trends’ simply have to be mentioned and explained and understood. Boys averaged higher in A-level – Read More-
Did you see the eclipse??? Wow!!! Amazing!!! But of course, you didn’t ‘see’ it, or you’d be at Moorfields with patches on your eyes hoping to restore your destroyed retinas. Unless you’re in the tiny minority of people who actually had ‘eclipse glasses’, accredited with the exact British Standards number! Obviously, if you’re an exploitative – Read More-
Tomorrow is ‘our day off’. Its Lila-Joey-day but due to them being in Crete, our daughter has reluctantly agreed that our services will not be required, having made extensive inquiries with various airlines about flight availability for ‘day trips’ for ‘staff’. So we had booked, a few months ago, a trip to Wakehurst. That’s ‘the – Read More-
It has to first be accepted that newspaper column ‘advice’ is as changeable as the wind. (I’m working on a new metaphor for that as we don’t have wind any more, nor rain). “DRINK RED WINE EVERY DAY AND LIVE TO 120!!!”, one day, followed the next by “AVOID WINE; IT’LL KILL YOU!!!!”. The response – Read More-
If you said to me (and I fucking wish you WOULD!!!), ‘Andy, you can have any car you like; I’ll pay for it’, what would I choose? Well, if I wanted a truck I’d get a Bentley. They have convertibles and it simply MUST be convertible. Range Rover? I’d literally rather take the fucking bus. – Read More-
Yeah, I’ll send my cv over. Its impressive. And my PhD thesis, you’ll like that, its quite brilliant. But basically, I was born a bit odd, developed somewhere on some spectrum, but was consequently a touch ‘Rain Man’, without all the stuttering. When I was 7 I wrote The Merchant of Venice. People said I – Read More-
I’ll just say it once: it’s hot. Fucking hot. Ridiculously hot. Which is not really the point. The point is that it’s been like this… foreverrrrr!!! I can’t remember what rain even looks like. Sleeping under the covers. Wearing long trousers. It’s all consigned to history. The only time I’ve used the tube lately was – Read More-