That’s the first time I’ve ever written those lyrics down from Kate Bush’s classic, 100-year-old song. And therefore it’s the first time I’ve realised that ‘winedy’ and ‘windy’ are spelt the same way. How clever she was. Anyway, we’re once again celebrating Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte’s classic novel, the finest one she ever wrote. Ok, – Read More-
Life ‘down the Lane’ is never dull. The football is; that’s fucking dire. But life is sparkling. The kebab shops have never had it so good. As yet one more manager bites the dust. 8 months; plenty of time to turn round the fortunes of any football club. Didn’t do it; he’s gone; and the – Read More-
We don’t choose our brothers. They’re just, kind’a ‘there’. And if you’re really unlucky, you lose one, like I did, to the curse of cancer, and if you’re even more unlucky, you get (the former) Prince Andrew as yours. Like the King did. Who yesterday stated that he’d be happy to assist the police in – Read More-
I’m the luckiest man in the world. I’m not a football fan. Because nothing could be worse. Ok, one thing: I could be a Spurs fan!! And every day, as I wake in the morning, and pray to the Lord for my eyes, my ears and, in particular, my penis, I add another prayer that – Read More-
The rugby Six Nations starts this week. Brilliant, I love a rugby international. I can even tolerate the women’s rugby internationals, if I have to. All those thighs bouncing around in the mud; its like a return to the 1970s values, without all the moustaches. Ok, with less moustaches. And, of course, English women’s rugby – Read More-
In Oliver Twist, Mrs Bumble coins the phrase ‘the law is an ass’. (In the upcoming production of that very play, by our local ‘Razz’ youth group, the role of Mrs Bumble will be played by none other than MY LILA!!!!) So the law is an ass. And yesterday that Dickensian motto was given new – Read More-
I’ve always liked Peter Mandelson. He was always the cleverest man in the room. Whether that was a room in 10 Downing Street with Tony Blair or Gordon Brown or in a pub full of poofs in Old Compton Street. Always clever, dry, funny and… clever. So clever, it transpires, that back in the noughties – Read More-
We’re currently car shopping. Its my favourite type of shopping by miles. I love cars and as all showrooms have really good coffee machines, biscuits even!!!, what’s not to like? Mel’s ‘lectric car goes back in March. We leased it because then the government paid for it, virtually in full. And its been wonderful. Except – Read More-
There are times when being a football fan defies all logic, all sensibility, any kind of decency. Times when your passions and your personal goals conflict in ways that defy any type of sane consideration. Last night, as I was watching the absolutely fantastic match between Chelsea and West Ham, this problem raised its somewhat – Read More-