I can’t remember whether it was about Iraq or Afghanistan (those ‘wars’ sort of ‘blend together’ into a fuzzy, grey, Blairite history) but some sage said “winning the war is easy, but you have to know how to win the peace”. And 20 years later, that’s where we stand. You can’t fight wars forever, there’s – Read More-
Dele Alli’s career thus far, at the ‘mid-life’ age of 25, has been neatly summarised. In fact the summary was constructed about 70 years before he was born. But back then they were actually talking about ‘a little girl, who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead’, rather than ‘a big, – Read More-
Did you know that there are people out there whose job is to monitor patterns of swearing? I mean WTF? How is that a job? It’s like being paid to count how many times the word ‘the’ comes up in 22,647 conversations. Who fucking cares? Yet of course, that’s rhetorical. Everyone cares about our language – Read More-
It must have been around 1970 or 71 when BBC2, and only BBC2 started transmitting in colour. Which was partly a shame because BBC2 only ran from about 6 o’clock in the evening until about 11.30, when they switched to a photo of a little girl accompanied by a high pitched whistle. Which was good – Read More-
Jake Davison went on a shooting spree last week, in Plymouth. Killed four people, injured a bunch of others, then shot himself. We call that a ‘mass killing’, the Americans call it ‘a bad day at the office’. Though we don’t have the advantage of being able to just go out and buy a submachine – Read More-
Manchester City are the reigning champions of the Premier League. And we beat them. So why don’t they just award us the title now and be done with? Seems fair to me. Avoid all that ‘personal space’ problem that matches bring. 64,000 people screaming their lungs out simultaneously shouldn’t present any problems, should it? Yesterday – Read More-
Further to these preposterous allegations made against me in the New York courts, I would like to finally make a statement. Clear the air. Answer the critics. And other anti-royal bastards. I thought I’d already made my position very very clear on this entire matter in the Emily Maitlis interview. In which I stated, categorically – Read More-
It’s finally happened. Lionel Messi, not just the world’s best footballer (sorry, Christiano, but he really is) but possibly the best footballer EVERRRRRR, has left his home forever. Leo was ‘born’ in Barcelona. Ok, not actually delivered into this world there but we really don’t care about the messy bits. He went there when a – Read More-
When did the world become so pedantic? So obsessive? So horribly, stupidly, ridiculously petty? And nothing provokes emotions more than food. So some idiotic blogger (they’re all fuckin’ eejuts, the lotto’v ‘em) or podcaster decided that ‘enough is enough!!!’, we’re no longer going to be allowed to use the word… ‘curry’. But… but… but… curry’s – Read More-
So I’m obsessed. Addicted. Devoted. The Olympics, which never excite me any more than new electric car charging points at Arsenal’s stadium, simply take over my life once they start. I don’t watch it, but then see some on the news. And then see more in hilights programs which just come on. And then it – Read More-