Our wives are trying to kill us. There’s no doubt about it. Married men are three times more likely to be obese than single men. THREE TIMES!!! I read that in a very reputable newspaper. So it must be true. As a groom walks his bride away from the alter to a life of married… – Read More-
So it’s taken America about 3 weeks to see beyond the bravado, the bluster, the total bollocks, which is the work and words of Donald J. Trump and start panicking. Realising that their self-professed ‘saviour’ is in fact a liability of global proportions and a moron to boot. And when America panics, it does so – Read More-
You know when you book ‘an event’ in December, or October, or possibly January, and its for ‘March ’25’, which is so far distant that you just check that you’re not going away and book it. What you… ok, what I don’t do is check the football schedules for that projected future-time. I don’t check – Read More-
They have officially found not one but two people in the world who actually give a shit about Colleen Rooney. Amazing, when you think about it. But these two individuals are the ‘rubbish-content bidding mavens’ of Amazon TV and Disney Plus. They not only have the usual, peripheral, inconsequential, irrelevant awareness of Mrs Rooney that – Read More-
If you’ve ever been lucky enough, or keen enough, to hear ‘the 2,000 year old man’, the ad lib comedy sketch with Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks, you might remember what ‘the greatest achievement he’d seen in his 2000 years of living’. Brooks’ answer: ‘cling film’. And he was right. (Mel Brooks was ALWAYS right). – Read More-
Well that was quick. Yup, it was. Just a short, sharp burst of skiing to see… the mountains?, because I missed them?, if I could still ski?, if I still liked it?, whatever. Three days, wham, bam (though, thank the Lord, not literally), ski a few hundred k and come back IN ONE PIECE. Job – Read More-
Of course, I forgot to mention yesterday the other BIG thing about skiing, once the horrors of ‘pre-par-ay-shun’ are done and you’re ready to head downhill. It pays just to spend a few seconds looking around. Because although you go ‘downhill’, it’s actually a mountain. One of many, cos they hunt in packs, these Alps. – Read More-
So here’s what you do. You wake up at 4 in the morning so you can get to the airport by 5 to sit in the regular EasyJet luxurious discomfort for 2 hours, get into a car for another hour or so, get stuffed into as many layers of clothing as you can find in – Read More-
There was a time when there were but three, measly tv channels. BBC2 finished at about 11pm, the other 2 went on a little longer. We never thought: “oh, this is shit! We need 56 channels showing repeats of Top Gear, all night long and re-runs of old football matches, plus, we need channels where – Read More-
So now will you listen? Now do you get that I’m so brilliantly… brilliant!, that my instincts and what have previously been known as ‘mishigarsim’ (insane ideas), are in fact true, correct, wonderful and SCIENTIFICALLY VALIDATED!!! All those people who’ve been campaigning for years to have me sectioned under the mental health act can eat – Read More-