I’m back from holiday. I’m home. I can tell because I slept in my own bed last night and woke up this morning in Antarctica. It’s so cold, I don’t know how anyone can live here. And Mel went swimming at 7 this morning, outside(!!!! But heated, obvs, she’s keen, she’s not fucking stupid) when – Read More-
I wish to complain about the airport. Every fucking airport in the world. And, before you accuse me of hyperbole, I have visited EVERY SINGLE ONE. The lot. Because they all suffer from the same pitiful inadequacies. Exemplified by here, today, at Tenerife airport. And the problem is: there’s too many people here. And not – Read More-
Because of the change in our monarchy, following the death of the Queen (the Elizabeth queen, not that other, new, fake one), the New Years Honours List for 2025 has changed its focus. In line with the disastrous new government, the abysmal state of the economy and, basically, nothing at all good happening anywhere in – Read More-
I’m here today to specifically and emphatically NOT discuss the ‘f-word’. It is herein and thereafter and thrice-whatever guaranteed to be absent from these pages. Other than one token sentence which may, or may not, have been expressed previously in these postings. Ready? I fucking hate football. Two f-words for the price of admission to – Read More-
For about 4 years now various friends have been mentioning, demanding, imploring that I try padel tennis, and/or pickleball. “It’s the best!!!”, they yell. “You’ll love it!!!!”, they say. “It’s just like tennis but… errrrr… not tennis!!!!” Ok, so just to clarify and remove any ambiguity, its like this: you want me to stop playing – Read More-
So you come to Tenerife to ‘get away from it all’. Even though there is really not a lot of ‘all’ to be getting away from at this time of year. The newspapers, after 14 weeks of unblinking ‘pre-Christmas’, got over the anniversary of Christ’s birth as it started because there was no more advertising – Read More-
I’m in Tenerife. Its hot. Job done. Mrs C needs an infusion of ultra violet in the winter, there’s probably nowhere nearer than the Canary Islands to achieve that aim. They call it ‘Spain’. But it’s not. Its Africa. Just to the west of the southern end of Morocco, where it meets Western Sahara. Florida – Read More-
We need to talk about Matt Gaetz. The American former Senator who left the House of Representatives to become Trump’s next Attorney General but was vetoed by his own party on the grounds of “you ‘avin a larf, or WHAT??” Because, other than Donald Trump himself, Matt Gaetz is possibly the most inappropriate man to – Read More-
Just one more question, to the neutrals it is aimed, to check if our levels of fun are being adequately sustained: WAS THAT FUCKING ENTERTAINING ENOUGH FOR YOU??? or was our ‘goals conceded’ level still a bit too few? They came from the North, in fact from Liverpool Where shoplifters abound and no-one goes to – Read More-
I went out for dinner last night. Oh wow, did you, Andy, I’ll alert the fucking media… No, I did. Round to friends. Not just any friends but to Mr & Mrs My Favourite Gooner in the World, friends. Possibly the only Arsenal fan in the competition as I generally try to avoid such friendships – Read More-