When we booked our India tour, our man in the UK was emailing the tour company in India to book everything, who then got back to him, who forwarded on to us… you get the picture. The subject line of the email originally sent by him was: “India tour for 2 white people”. Honest, that’s – Read More-
Streatham Malkie always bemoans my lack of mention of his beloved Crystal Palace. They’re a football team. Apparently. In the Premiership. And, generally, I don’t mention them purely in consideration for him and his fellow sufferers. Sorry, fellow fans. Because if I’d spoken of Palace in the last few months, it was not going to – Read More-
This picture is not actually Mel photobombing a picture with a bunch of Indian schoolgirls. She would normally have done exactly that. Anything for attention. Never afraid of being a bully. But here in India the attention comes to her. And this was the result of a sweet little girl pleading to let her take – Read More-
So the phone rings in the room. I pick it up (like what else??) and a voice says, in a very strong, Indian accent: “is that Andrew Convay?” Which, other than the regional mispronunciation (I struggle with Murgh Meganhi), is my given name. But the only people who ever use it are my mother, and – Read More-
We’re going to India today. I spend so much time speaking to call centres in Mumbai and Delhi that I thought it almost rude not to go and thank ‘Kenny’ and ‘Mike’ and ‘Ronnie’ personally for disturbing so much of our meal-time peace during the course of the year. I’m taking a baseball bat with – Read More-
Well, Ankara hasn’t been nuked. Yet. You can never rule out the possibility altogether, but strange things are happening. Calculated but strange in the aftermath of the assassination of the Russian ambassador to Turkey. Putin and Erdogan are singing from the same song sheet. Allied against ‘terror’ and ‘terrorists’ like never before. Ok, you can’t – Read More-
On a scale of 1 to 7.5, rate each of these things for stupidity, with ‘1’ being ‘actually quite sensible really’ and 7.5 being ‘ARE YOU FUCKING MENTAL????’ Goddit? Playing tennis with a dodgy shoulder when everyone’s told you not to. Losing 2-1 to Manchester City after being a goal to the good. Having a – Read More-
Read a very interesting yet odd article the other day by the Vatican’s Chief Astronomer. Can’t remember his name but it sounded a bit like a pasta dish. Who knew that the Vatican had astronomers? Yet they do. They’re into science. Apparently. And this dude was trying to find an explanation for the Star of – Read More-
So Mezud Ozil and Alexis Sanchez are in deep talks with Arsenal about their new contracts. Which they don’t give a shit about. And the money on offer, which they really, really do. They earn 140k a week (a fucking WEEK!!!!) but want 250k. Like Pogba. Fine. Then Oscar, Brazilian not-quite-superstar-enough to play regularly for – Read More-
Thursday. We’re off. India. Land a million curries. A billion people. 42,000 known forms of stomach upset. 1200 Hindu Gods. With 92000 limbs between them. And lots of curries. Did I mention those already? Good. I love curry. But that always supposes we take off from Heathrow. The weather’s nothing special, no ice, no snow, – Read More-