I wake up in the morning, reluctantly, unhappily (I love sleeping) and earl-ily when Mel plonks a cup of tea next to me (bless that saintly woman) and announces in her bouncy, early-morning-manic kind of way, that she’s off to swim. She’s leaving me for David Lloyd. Again. This is often accompanied by the delicate – Read More-
Oh. My. God. This is the shape of the future. My own worst nightmare (that doesn’t involve Arsenal). No longer will ‘tossers’ be forced to hold their phones clumsily in their outstretched hand to ensure that they never look where they’re fucking going. Because you can now buy an Oculus Rift… thing. And never need – Read More-
The main difference between ‘us’ in the ‘so-called’ civilised West, and the extremists from ‘so-called’ Islamic State is a matter of tolerance. Not to gluten, even though that’s a matter close to my heart, and certainly to my intestine, which lives nearby. Extremists are intolerant of pretty much everything. Unless its done, prayed, eaten, worshipped, – Read More-
Its great being 60. You get free tube travel. And… and… and… You get to shit on a stick. That’s it really. You’re suddenly old and two really big things happen. One is free transport (ONLY in London, the rest of the country, the ones that don’t count, have to wait til they’re 62), the – Read More-
I feel I’m drowning. In a sea. Of sport. There’s just so much at the moment. Though yesterday it was rather depressing turning on the tv to find a choice between golf and tennis. Who needs that? Golf is not just boring, its grossly overpaid boring, and tennis I can’t watch unless its filmed live – Read More-
It doesn’t feel like the first day of the new football season. It feels like the Olympics. I can’t think about Mezut Ozil when Jess Ennis is on the other channel. In fact I can think of nothing else whilst Jess Ennis is around, generally. But now I need to focus. Because it starts today. – Read More-
I worry that I’m becoming slightly gluten intolerant. Which would be fitting in a way as I’m pretty fucking intolerant to most things. But they’re all a matter of conscious choice, not bodily function. So here’s the problem. Not the intolerance itself, should I be the ‘victim’ of such a thing, but the fact that – Read More-
I’ve decided that being Jewish is a ‘condition’. Like a disease, but not life-threatening. Like eczema. And the term ‘condition’ is appropriate because, like everyone else in the world, we are conditioned. Ours is just a bit different. Maybe because there are so few of us, maybe because we have a collective history that you – Read More-
Sharks get a very bad press. And its just not fair. And its all because of the wrong kind of music. When you watch an animal documentary, an Attenborough or some such, for long stretches there’s no narration. They play music instead. So as they show all those brightly coloured tropical fishes nibbling their merry – Read More-
The good thing about the Olympics is that its on for the entire day and most of the night. The bad thing is that its on for the entire day and most of the night. So I decided (very very early on in my life) that I would not stay up til 3 in the – Read More-