Finishing fourth at anything generally gets you nothing. You can win a gold, silver or bronze medal. They don’t make one out of plastic, wood or shit. Which is all you deserve for such failings. Horses ‘win’, ‘place’ or ‘show’. They may ‘turn up’ and even ‘finish’ but its only the first three that count. – Read More-
This is Anders Breivik. Remember him? Lovely guy. Self-confessed ‘nazi’ and total fucking homicidal lunatic. Ok, a lot of Norwegians are a bit strange, all those 22-hour nights in the winter-time, too much seal meat and whale blubber in the diet, but Anders really went too far. He planted a bomb in Oslo which killed – Read More-
So we were in The Hague (city in Netherlands, not William) and there in the Mauritshuis (no idea) was a collection of old masters. Among them, Vermeer’s ‘Girl with a Pearl Necklace’. So I thought. Ok, let’s go watch a porno then; see if I care. Mel was amazed at my willingness to go to – Read More-
I wrote a little something on the plane home yesterday evening. About the Dutch Masters. Because I know how much you love a good pitcher, a nice Rembrandt, bit’a Vermeer class. The Johann Cruyffs of the paintbrushes. Right? But then in the taxi home from the airport something happened. That not only changed the intended – Read More-
Kuenkenhof gardens are in Holland. Near Amsterdam. Where every year they plant 7 million bulbs. Which guarantees that in springtime they will have ‘one or two’ flowers knocking around. Or even 7 million. Which also guarantees that there is no-where else in the world where you can see, at one time, more crouching Orientals than – Read More-
I must apologise, in a (fairly) sincere and (almost) genuine manner, for pretty much ignoring the lower end of our esteemed Premier League of late. Because I’ve been so busy up there at the top end, the glorious, victorious, uproarious pinnacle of wonderful football that I kind’a forgot that there are other teams playing the – Read More-
So its 2012 and the Olympic games have just finished in London. The best Olympic Games EVERRRRRRR, no doubt about that. Mainly because there’s never been another one I could get to with my Tube card and make it home in 40 minutes. And also because it was brilliant. All round, just brilliant. Ok, that’s – Read More-
The problem with getting to the end of the universe is a simple one. Basically, its a fuck of a long way away. Further than anything else. Scientific fact. If you take the Northern Line all the way to High Barnet (which certainly feels like the end of the world) you’re not much closer to – Read More-
I’m bored with tax now. Not that it was ever suggested that the world of taxation was in any way interesting, exciting or spectacular. But really. Iss enough already. David Cameron’s tax return, George Osborne’s, Boris’s, Jeremy Fucking Corbyn’s. Surely what would be more interesting is what is NOT on the tax returns. The dodgy – Read More-
There was a football match in the afternoon yesterday Manchester United were coming to play At White Hart Lane in Tottenham-land Four a clock kick off, all sorted and planned. Not ‘four-ish’, or ‘whenever’ or ‘see how the day goes’ But four o’clock sharp, Sky tv’s comin’, everyone bloody knows There’s 3 million people sitting – Read More-