We all have nuclear buttons. We have one at home, just next to the freezer. If I go for ice for my (6th) whiskey and miss, Leningrad gets fucking nuked. And that’s the problem. Or one of them. There are two thousand six hundred and ninety-four problems that I’ve counted so far in the whole – Read More-
This is what Fleet Street looked like on Wednesday night. Every taxi in the world was parked there. Two lanes each way, from Blackfriars to Aldwych and up Chancery Lane and anywhere else they could block. You can never find a taxi when you need one, but when you don’t, 2,000 of them land on – Read More-
Jeremy Corbyn (labour leader, tosser, beardy-lefty-creep, tosser, revolutionary, power-to-the-people tosser) said that if he were Prime Minister (God forbid) he would never press the ‘nuclear’ button to launch atomic weaponry. Never. Pacifist. See ‘tosser’, above. He laughed off such things. “We are no longer in the Cold War”, he said. At probably the precise moment – Read More-
On Sunday evening a group proclaiming themselves ‘Class War!!!!’ (my exclamation marks, but warranted, I feel, to represent aggression and attitude. Without them its just ‘class war’, a wet and wooly phrase from a bygone era) chose to attack a cafe in Brick Lane, East London. The cafe was full of people, lots of kids, – Read More-
“FOOK OFF, REF!!” he shouts in vicious spite, “I WAS NEVER OFFSIDE, YOU ARE JUST SHITE!!!” Another episode from Wayne’s World The flag was up, the ball beautifully curled. But another yellow card, to go with the collection for violent temper tantrums are the man’s true predilection. He scores lots of goals, of that there – Read More-
When Monty Python’s Life of Brian movie came out in 1979, there was minor outrage. Ok, there was major outrage. It was blasphemous. It was offensive. It was irreverent to the point of abuse. Yet still they wanted to ban it. As if those things weren’t good things. But heh, its a movie; how much – Read More-
2-nil, and you fucked it up, 2-nil, and… You know that song? Well that was Spurs game yesterday against Manchester City. We won 2-nil but the linesmen fucked it up so they called it 4-1 instead. I don’t care. Free points is free points, whichever way you miss Kyle Walker being 19 yards offside. (Was – Read More-
Sepp Blatter? Little bald wedding singer who ran FIFA Euro-Tosser? Always has been, always will be. But suddenly his stance that he knew nussink is looking even more ridiculous than previously. He always stated the case for total fucking negligence and ignorance of the horrendous corruption and shit all occurring on his watch. In many – Read More-
I’m a feminist. My wife told me to be one and who am I to argue. But the truth of the matter is that I am a feminist. As a true liberal I adhere to the French motto of ‘libertee, fraternitee, egalitee’, and I really do. Most of the time. There are exceptions to my – Read More-
I’m intrigued by the goings on at Volkswagen. Wolfsburg’s finest company (even better than their football team) is the largest car maker in the world. I think. Let’s say they are anyway. So I’d always assumed that they were just typical of wonderful German efficiency and organisation. That they storm-trooped their Germanic way through the – Read More-