Its Tuesday. Bridge night chez nous. Ever since Mel decided, about 5 years ago that playing the beautiful (card) game is the only sure way to stave off all forms of dementia and… well, I’m sure there was something else, its gone now. Where was I? So we play bridge. We had lessons then became – Read More-
Susannah Constantine is a tv presenter. Talks about clothes. Bitches about other women’s sortorial faux pas. I’ve never watched her. Until she learns to kick a football, becomes a man and puts on a Spurs shirt (and trust me; we’ve fielded worse, much worse), I have no interest in her tv antics. But yesterday I – Read More-
I hate to keep blaiming Gwyneth Paltrow for all the evils on the planet but she’s right up there with ISIS and Arsenal when it comes to the ruination of our culture. In this specific case its food. Or ‘not food’. Her (and others, but I prefer to have a focus for my scorn, preferably – Read More-
“Can I just plug my charger in somwhere; my phone’s gone dead”. No you can’t. Fuck off. You think electricity’s free? “Yes, of course you can, Michael, in fact let me make you a cup of tea and I’ll service your phone for you too; delete the obselete apps, enhance the screen, upgrade the battery – Read More-
It is with great relief and joy that we can today announce that the 2022 World Cup will, after all the controversy and scandal, indeed be played in Qatar. As originally voted, selected, elected and chosen in a very honest, uncorrupt and logical way, organised as ever, in the impeccable standards we’ve come to expect – Read More-
An Irishman walks into Spearmint Rhino one night. Rather, an Irishman staggers into Spearmint Rhino one night, blind drunk, and, remembering nothing of events the morning after, finds a credit card receipt from that worthy establishment, to the tune of £7,500. Its not a joke, but sure has a worthy punchline. Had he been sold – Read More-
Saw a great movie last night. This is where I leave you. That’s what its called. And it was a preview as part of the London Jewish Film Festival. Because being Jewish is not just about chopped liver and bagels. Its not just about supporting Spurs (oyyyyyy; see later) and having opinions about everything. Its – Read More-
Living in London brings certain responsibilities. Most importantly you must always avoid any of the big tourist attractions. Even though no person with any degree of sense or taste should ever visit Madame Toussauds, whatever their nationality, for Londoners it is an imperative that such a shallow, hollow, pathetic facsimile showing of humanity’s obsession with – Read More-
Anjem Choudary, the hate-preacher and probable radicalising all-round horrible person, wants to go to ISIS. Not, as he claims, to ‘participate in terrorist acts’, but merely to live his dream of being in a Sharia state. Fine by me. I’ll start a whip-round for his ticket today. The man is pure evil and obviously belongs – Read More-
Did you ever read ‘American Psycho’? Its one of the very few books I started and in a very un-Mastermindish way, I didn’t finish. Brett Easton Ellis’ tale of a sick yuppy puppy. A highly successful banker in New York who in his spare time liked to torture and kill women. The book was a – Read More-