Do you remember, when you were very young and your mum took you to the Doctor’s to have inoculations and vaccinations, and when you turned up there were 27 little kids all sitting on laps awaiting their turn in the injection clinic, and one kid was screaming. Really screaming. The screams of horror, of panic; – Read More-
The banking giant, Santander, have refused to open an account for a circus company, ‘on moral grounds’ because the troupe are a little risqué in their attire and a little ‘burlesque’ in their performances. But this is a circus. The girls dress for acrobatics. Its like making a judgment on runners in the Commonwealth games – Read More-
I love a good book. Or a good ‘bookish download’ as is now the case as they arrive in my kindle 1.6 seconds after buying them from Amazon. As long as you turn the wifi on. Of course. What? You think I’m stupid?? Cos you can’t download on the tube. Don’t work. Trust me. Or – Read More-
Why is it that no other country in the world is questioned about its ‘right to exist’? Only Israel. Which became a country in 1948 when the British mandate pulled out and left the natives to fight it out. It is a country. There is no question. No more than there should be about Italy – Read More-
I’ve always been rather concerned about the welfare of crabs. In much the same way I worry that all grass seems to be green. Or that East Molesey cricket club lost a game on June 17. Or my shoes are a bit scuffed. It all falls in the ‘who gives a shit?’ category of too – Read More-
When I was in Australia, couple years ago, I was still a smoker. Yes, one of those horrible, evil people who pollute the world and endanger the lives of small children and little furry animals with their plumes of noxious poisons. That was me. And when I smoked, before lighting up I always tried to – Read More-
Went out for dinner last night. Had cheese on toast with tomato sauce. Or ‘pizza’ as its known in certain parts of Glasgow. In a new place in Hampstead. Very Neopolitain, very Italian, very small. And as ‘the kitchen’ is basically a great big red open oven, it got very warm in there. I thought – Read More-
President Hollande is getting a bit testy about Russia. Well, everyone’s getting a bit testy about Russia. And so they should. Its a terrible place. Filled with Russians, generally, who are awful people, and many other racists, anti-semites and semi-agricultural, knuckle-dragging peasants. Its always been an awful place. Joseph Stalin invented genocide in the modern – Read More-
Has anyone else noticed any pink men buried waist-deep in their gardens? I just wondered. The good news is he doesn’t eat very much, nor make a lot of noise. The not such great news is he doesn’t actually do anything. Breathe. Speak. Dance. Well, dancing’s hard with no legs, or legs buried under the – Read More-
Oh wow, we finally won something. Brilliant. And when I say ‘we’, I’m prepared, for once, to become British. Because Northern Ireland is part of Great Britain, albeit a consistently troublesome part, and Rory McIlroy is from ‘the province’ and thus his victory is our victory and we can bask in the collective joy of – Read More-