Elvis Costello was never really a ‘proper’ punk rocker. He emerged at that time, in the late 70s, when Johnny Rotten and Sid Vicious were spitting all over the place and piercing their ears on stage with broken bottles and being as outrageous as Malcolm McLaren (who, after all, was paying for all the drugs) – Read More-
Its the end of an era. Life will never be the same again. A modern day tragedy. McDonalds in Hampstead is closing. Well who gives a shit? That’s what they serve; shit. Killer shit. Anyone who saw ‘Supersize Me’ knows that McDonalds peddle death to the masses. A quarter pounder with cheese weighs… er… well, – Read More-
I’m a very ethical shopper. I only buy clothes made by unemployed, replenishable, single-parent transexuals paid a decent wage by a UK-based, tax-declaring company in a wonderful, bright, cheery environment with massages provided every hour to relieve any strain the workers may incur. My socks alone cost £97.50 a pair. I’m saving up for a shirt. – Read More-
The opposite of good is bad. The opposite of short is tall The opposite of heroic is… Well what? Cowardly? Sensible?? No schmuck??? We all love a hero. Every movie has a hero. Douglas Barder climbed back into his Spitfire are losing both his legs to fight the Hun once more. Gary Cooper faced the – Read More-
I’d like to make a plea on behalf of Gwyneth Paltrow. Well someone’s gotta do it. That poor (well, in some ways) woman is reviled by the press, hated by her peers, ridiculed by her own mother (I made that bit up, just for effect), pilloried by anyone and everyone who eats normal food, doesn’t – Read More-
Its here. Its arrived. The answer to all our troubles, cares and woes. No more recession, no more financial insecurity, no more banks screwing us over, bankers getting squllions of pounds in undeserved bonuses, no more massive national debt, underpaid firemen going on strike on Guy Fawkes weekend, no more corrupt politicians, tax dodgers, gangs – Read More-
What a lovely picture in today’s paper, taken at an event in Beverley Hills ‘to protect the world’s oceans’. How noble is that? You’d expect the picture to contain people in scuba gear, holding spear guns with which they could fend off Japanese Whalers, Chinese rhino-horn poachers (what? rhinos don’t live in the sea?? no – Read More-
Tests have now shown (apparently; they’re always showing something or other; do these ‘testers’ really have nothing better to do??) that left handed people are far more likely to be schitzophrenics than right handers. Schizophrenia (/ˌskɪtsɵˈfrɛniə/ or /ˌskɪtsɵˈfriːniə/) is a mental disorder characterized by a breakdown of thought processes and by a deficit of typical emotional responses. [1]Common symptoms are delusions including paranoia and auditory hallucinations,disorganized thinking reflected in speech, and a lack – Read More-
Even been to Cheddar Gorge? Its in Somerset and its really beautiful. Like a mini version of the Grand Canyon. The Petit Canyon, peutetre. Its big, jagged, rugged and naturally magnificent. A bit like me. But fatter. Its half owned by the Marquis of Bath (hippy nutcase who has up to 75 ‘wifelets’ at any – Read More-
Gareth Bale is up for the world player of the year. If he beats off some weak opposition from the likes of Lionel (who???) Messi, he will be proclaimed God. Master of the world. The most gifted Welshman since Harry Secombe, Gareth Edwards, Neil Kinnock. The best player since Pele, the most talented individual since – Read More-