I’ve made a decision. On behalf of the whole world. That anyone who uses the word ‘woke’ not in connection to having been asleep, is a tosser. Of such magnitude that they should be arrested, publicly stoned (in the violent sense, he’s probably already in the other one), or eviscerated with a wooden post. Or – Read More-
Spurs lost a match on Wednesday night. I’d just finished playing bridge when the penalty shoot-out started. ‘Watched’ it on text stream because I couldn’t find it anywhere. There again, I’m not the best at finding anything: keys, phone, ‘that bill I put somewhere and needs payin’’, my shoes… And we (faaaarrrrkin!!!!) lost. To bottom-of-the-table – Read More-
This lady is Kim Yo-jong. Who was first seen in public at the funeral of Kim Jong-il and assumed to be Kim Jong-un’s wife. But in fact is… (pause for effect and suspense like they do on game shows…) his SISTER!!! Which doesn’t mean they don’t sleep together, who knows what happens in North Korea. – Read More-
I was talking to a ‘die-hard red’ yesterday. They’re all ‘die-hard’ until they start losing. Then they become ‘suffer-a-lot’ reds. But I felt his pain. Not saying I sympathised with it, but I felt it. Because, even with his beloved Liverpool a massive 22 points ahead of Manchester City at the top of the table, – Read More-
So we all have a decision to make. Do we ignore the Coronavirus altogether and keep on with what is known as ‘life’? Or do we convert to mask-wearing sneeze-averse, cling-film wrapped paranoids, avoiding all possible contact with anyone, working from home, having the Ocado geezer leave ALL THE SHOPPING AT THE END OF THE – Read More-
Priti Patel is at the centre of a storm. She is in fact that storm. Allegations of bullying, lying, harassment, abuse, demeaning, rape (I just added that for drama) and tyrannical behaviour have led to calls for our Home Secretary to explain herself to parliament. Well, Labour have called for that, so she probably won’t – Read More-
There have been six Premiership matches played this weekend. And from those, 3 of the bottom 5 teams won their matches. Which itself is a bit odd. It’s not for winning games that these clubs get to be in trouble. Bournemouth, also in the bottom 5, drew with Chelsea, who really should be in the – Read More-
Whilst the whole world is talking about Coronavirus some people take action. Like Big Richard at Tai Chi this morning. Affirmative action. He brought a hand sanitiser with him. So as we were throwing each other around, getting in each other’s faces, grunting, panting and grappling, his hands remained… sanitised! The rest of him (and – Read More-
I’m going to Africa. Sub-Saharan. Because it seems to be the only place in the world safe from Coronavirus. I appreciate I might get kidnapped by pirates, slaughtered in a military coup or eaten by a tiger, possibly even a tider if Lila comes with me, and even though there aren’t any in Africa, but – Read More-
OMGeeeeeee!!!!! Book flights now (Coronavirus notwithstanding) and let’s GO! It’s amazing. It’s the most… amazing (did I say that?), incredible, sensational, amazing (?), fantabulously incredulously stupendifying thing EVERRRRRR!!! And it opens in May. We just MUUUUUST go. Cancel plans, tell work, put the breast implants on hold for a month, leave the liposuction for this – Read More-