Jeremy Corbyn hates the Queen. No doubt about it. I haven’t asked him, I just know. And not on a personal level; I’m sure he’d go for a drink down the pub with Our Liz, but on matter of principle he’d hate the reigning monarch of our country. Because in the politics of envy and – Read More-
Ahhh, its Wakes Week once more, the time for… for, errrrr… for… Well, putting on antlers and running round in silly clothes chasing a man dressed as a headless bride, obviously. As they do in Abbots Bromley. (No idea, either. I’ll guess ‘up north’ because they seem to have too much time on their hands – Read More-
When one reaches a certain age, should that ‘one’ be sufficiently fortunate to still be in possession of one or perhaps even two living parents, discussions inevitably occur as to modes of death, dying and disaster. And brings with it the corresponding comments along the lines of: if I get to that point, just shoot – Read More-
Is suffering a good subject for a movie? Death is fine (see Kill Bill, Django Unchained, anything Sam Peckinpah, anything Chinese, Saving Private Ryan). Death happens. In war it happens a bit more frequently. In Kung Fu movies it happens at a more alarming rate. Brutality is fine. Illness is different. You have to be – Read More-
Cockapoos in handbags is so 2014. Home cinemas? Done that. Midlife crisis in the driveway? Been there. Still there. Smart tvs? Smoothie makers? Gluten extractors? Tattoo on your testicles? All been done. This year’s ‘must have’ accessory is a Syrian family in the spare room. We’ve all got them. Bob Geldoff… er… Bob Geldoff… and… – Read More-
They use the term ‘game-changer’ to describe an event that shifts the balance, that tips the point, that causes a massive reaction. The two little Syrian boys washed up on a Turkish beach after their people-smuggling bastard’s inflatable went under on the way to its designated Greek island. And the image of the younger brother – Read More-
Its been raining all summer. On and off. In that annoying way. And the rule is (yes, I have one rule, just one) that if its pissing down in the mornings I don’t take my bike to the station, I walk. If the bike’s there in the evening and its raining, I ride. Because I – Read More-
Its all about time. About timing. Because the clock never stops, it just imposes arbitrary constraints on almost every facet of our lives. That’s why my favourite kind of holiday is one where I take off my watch when I get there and don’t put it back on until I’ve missed the sodding flight home. – Read More-
Did you know that they now make telephones that you can carry around in your pockets? Don’t need any wire, let alone an annoying, twisted curly wire. Did you know that? Phones that are also capable of taking photographs, mainly of your genitals, to send to other people? Its incredible. Technology moves so fast that – Read More-
Jose Morinho after losing 2-1 at home to Crystal Palace yesterday: “We played well enough to win the match, certainly we played well enough not to lose it.” Wise sentiments from the manager. But, actually, Jose, you did lose the match. So what do those fucking words even mean? That on a different day, with – Read More-