Andy's Glasses

a blog through the eyes…

Andy Conway

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May 4, 2015

artful…

Yesterday we went to see the Zabludowicz Collection. Yeah, someone’s been collecting Zabludowiczes for years and put them in a cabinet in Kentish Town… Oh, not reaeaeaeaeallllly. Mr & Mrs Z (I can’t be arsed with writing that out every time) are wealthy art collectors. And they put their collection of modern art together in – Read More-

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May 3, 2015

girls…

“Ok, someone in a pub tries to punch you in the face. You ‘raise hands’, deflect the blow, yielding so the punch follows through and unbalances the puncher, whilst moving to the side. You take the arm, put on an outside wrist-lock, twist it round, then step through the (would have been a) puncher with – Read More-

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May 2, 2015

electrickery…

I want to save the planet. All by myself. I want to stop carbon emissions. I want nuclear power and an end to fossil fuels. I want no more birds with asthma. I want pollution to become an historical artefact. You don’t need to have factories spewing out shit from their chimneys; you can use – Read More-

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May 1, 2015

brucinda…

Some stories just kind’a grab ya. Right in the cajones. Or, in the tits, perhaps. Or for Bruce Jenner, maybe both. Because its an amazing story. Of winning, of success, of fame, fortune and limitless plastic surgery, of attention-seeking taken to a stratospheric level and of the ultimate in bizarre. Bruce Jenner was an athlete. – Read More-

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April 30, 2015

yangyang…

This is Yangyang. She’s what your mum would look like if you lived in Hong Kong. She looks like an Eastern version of Dustin Hoffman’s Tootsie. If you put an assault rifle in her hands she’d be Sarah Palin. But in fact she’s a robot. Wow! A robot! The latest in the ever-increasing push towards – Read More-

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April 28, 2015

phobia…

A phobia is an irrational fear of something. If you’re arachnophobic and you see a little spider dangling from its itty-bitty thread, you leap around screaming and breaking things until someone disposes of the animal. That’s a phobia. Its irrational. Makes no sense. An itty-bitty mider can’t hurt you, you know that. Ooooh, but its – Read More-

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April 27, 2015

election mania…

I met my mp last Sunday. He’s a Tory. Nice little fella. Mike Freer. All round good guy, nice guy and decent bloke. I was walking down the road with Mel and the elder daughter (a ‘football widow for the day as hubby was at Newcastle watching glorious Spurs) when I saw a ‘threatening group’ – Read More-

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April 26, 2015

all to fight for…

Watford have been promoted. I couldn’t be happier if… if… if I appeared on today’s Rich List. I couldn’t be happier if my neighbour’s dog stopped shitting in my sodding garden. I couldn’t… Actually, although I feel for Watford, many fans of which are personal acquaintances, it doesn’t really make me HAPPY happy. Just, kind – Read More-

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April 25, 2015

radicalised…

A young boy, a teenager really, was arrested yesterday at an airport after being found to have become radicalised by the evil preachings found on his computer. The poisoned ideology, the quest for world domination, the turning of innocent views distorted for wicked aims. The arrest, at Glasgow airport, was the longest in an increasing – Read More-

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April 24, 2015

The Tottenham Yankees…

Do you remember, as a kid, (I hope), getting a ‘compendium of games’? It was a normal board-game sized box but inside were the slimmed down versions of a dozen different games. Ludo, scrabble, chess, draughts, snakes’n’ladders, loads of games, all kind’a wrapped up together to save space and time and create so many options? – Read More-

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