I’ve always had the greatest respect for Emma Watson. She was always clever and bright, consistently scoring better that both Harry Potter and Ron Weasley in spells, Studies of the Dark Arts and Dragon Rearing. After that she went to Harvard, or Yale; somewhere American, and acquired a BSc in Witchcraft, or Politics or something – Read More-
I’m a big fan of taxation. I love it. The more I pay the happier I feel. I’m contributing to the national pot. Helping the NHS to survive. Allowing the government to help those less well off or unemployed to thrive. Keeping all those Latvian child-molesters and Romanian pick-pockets flooding to our shores in search – Read More-
We all love it when giants are killed. We even have a word for it: giant-kiling. If that is in fact one word. Who cares? And the manner in which giants are killed is all-important. So when the Great, the Godly (in their minds) Manchester United take their zillions of pounds of inter-galactic superstars (I’m – Read More-
The word ‘ruination’ describes the ruin of a nation. And Scotland has ruined our nation. Or rather, Scotland, Gordon Brown, Alex (bleedin’) Salmond and Ed (poxy) Milliband. It’ll never be the same. The whole democratic process is fucked up beyond redemption. We might as well adopt sharia law instead and start cutting off limbs instead – Read More-
Its tropical here in London today. Don’t know what its like in Scotland but I’d guess at miserable. For 45% of the population anyway. Its cloudy here, a little rainy, though not enough to keep superheroes like me and Spurs Paul off the tennis courts, however slippery they may become. (for ‘superhero’; read: ‘idiot’). But – Read More-
The Queen was in Glasgow when she formally met Alex Salmond, Scotland’s First Minister. EIIR: “How nice to see you Mr. Salmond.” AS: “Nice to see you Your Majesty. Now, what are we going to call Scotland when we win Independence? EIIR: “Oh dear, one hasn’t considered that yet!” AS: “How about calling it a – Read More-
Ahhhh the Champions League. The league of, er, champions. Europe’s finest. Except Spurs. We were only allowed to play in it once and were the best team there by miles. For just a wee while. Ahhhhh… But now all is not so pretty. Not that I saw any of the matches so far but that’s – Read More-
I love the world of fashion. I’m very very fashionable, exceedingly stylish and so beautiful I’m often mistaken for Cara Delevine when I’m in McDonalds. And although fashions change every season, every year, all the time, I adopt the ‘stopped watch’ approach to what’s trendy. In that a stopped watch tells the right time twice – Read More-
I can think of only one good reason for Scotland to seperate from the rest of Britain. And that is that if it succeeds it will become an independent country and will have to apply to become accepted by the European Union. Like Albania. And will have to prove its economic viability and its desire – Read More-
“THERE’S A FUCKING GREAT HOLE IN THE OZONE LAYER!!!!!” they exclaimed (hence the exclamation marks; if they’d just kind of ‘said’ it, we wouldn’t need the punctuation). “AUSTRALIA WILL MELT!!!!! THE SEAS WILL RECEDE!!!! ELEPHANTS WILL GO BLIND!!!! THE WORLD WILL END!!!!!!!” “THE ONLY WAY TO PREVENT OUR PLANET FROM DYING IS TO STOP USING – Read More-