The world is just so full of contradictions. Replace the word ‘contradictions’ with ‘shit’ and you lose precious little meaning. I just read that the ‘5-a-day’ mantra, the rule which has dictated my fruit and vegetable intake for most of my adult life, is being upgraded. Or downgraded. Or quantatively eased. And now should be – Read More-
To Anfield we went, the boys in blue To fell the mighty, to give them what was due That was the mission, that was the quest, and now its all over, you know the rest. It was all great, all dandy, a truly fantastic start for nearly 100 seconds we really looked the part. Then – Read More-
The first Scientology Church marriage took place in London a month ago. Because my City is right-on, up-to-the-minute, well-cool, adaptable, in with the hep-cats, on message and well cool. Oh, and a bit stupid. This has been seen as an endorsement for the Church of Science-Fictology as a ‘true religion’. That L Ron Hubbard’s tale – Read More-
The headline ran: “200,000” children watch hardcore porn”. What I want to know is what’s wrong with the rest of the bloody children, the ones who don’t? The porn’s there, its free, be stupid not to use it. How else you gonna learn about nipple clamps? They should have a GCSE in porn, validate it – Read More-
It was Mel’s birthday last week. Or the week before. As if I’d forget. And I booked a ‘surprise’. Ahhhhh, how sweet. Yes, I am that kind, considerate, caring, loving, romantic and totally fucking wonderful. I am New Man. Soft enough to moisturise and be in touch with other’s feelings yet hard enough to spit. – Read More-
When the movie Emma came out I fell in love with the exsquisite young vision that was Gwyneth Paltrow. Call me fickle but I generally fall in love about 3 times in every movie. That’s why we see films. Well, that’s why I see films. To be absorbed in the plot, to actually become, temporarily, – Read More-
My first ever Saturday job was helping my dad’s mate out in his bespoke tailoring shop in Soho. 1970. I was 14. And ran lots of errands and stuff, as my tailoring skills weren’t quite honed yet. In fact they never were, I can’t sew on a button. But I wasn’t there to stand with – Read More-
Its all a problem of perspective. Bit like a one-eyed man at a 3-d movie. But what’s happening in Egypt is a bit too gory for even Hollywood, at the moment. A court in Cairo yesterday sentenced 529 people to death. All in one go. A 45 minute ‘hearing’ but don’t ask me what was – Read More-
There’s a new ‘outcry’ about MP’s expenses. Not the last outcry, nor the seven before that, nor the previous 73, but a new one. And its all about glasses. Overspending on ‘designer’ models then claiming them as expenses for us to buy for them. Eyewear. Spectacles. Something about which I claim something of an understanding. – Read More-
Is this the best headline ever; from today’s Mail on Sunday: “Rebel Catholic priest confesses to sham gay marriage to a married Muslim to help him stay in the UK.” This is no mere: “Elvis ate my hamster!!!!” or “aliens stole my greenhouse!!!!” or “Tory MP grabbed my testicles at a party!!!!” Because this one – Read More-