You almost have to feel sorry for the Scots. Almost. Then you remember they’re Scottish and it becomes even harder to do so. And again, this is one of those weird things, every Scot you meet is lovely (I’ve never met Nicola Sturgeon nor Alex Salmond) but as a nation? A nation??? All that blue – Read More-
The end of ‘lockdown’ is being delayed by four weeks to allow the “Delta Variant, first discovered in fucking India!!”, time to… errrr… well, time to slow down, ease up, get better or get superseded by the Epsilon Variant, first discovered in *******. The thing is that if you run a theatre, sporting events, possibly – Read More-
Christian Eriksen is a footballer. He’s 29, obviously fit, totally wonderful at football (doh) and played for Spurs. He was the ‘odd one’ bought when we squandered the rest of the 100 million Euros we received for selling Gareth Bale. He was the ‘cheapy’. But proved, by miles and miles, to be the best, the – Read More-
It’s my birthday soon. Very soon. I’m not fishing for presents. There again… And I will be… 65 years old! So I’d just like to say: FUCK! ME! How could that even happen? My old dad, at 96, probably feels the same, but a lot more so. How do we ‘suddenly’ change from 23 to – Read More-
Jo Biden has arrived on these shores. His first major challenge was the steps of Air Force One. Didn’t look too convincing if I’m honest, being a bit steep and… stair-like, for a man with 80 years of hip strain and knee issues behind him, but he made it onto English soil with just a – Read More-
So Covid came. And then… (pause for dramatic effect), it MUTATED!!! Into a ‘variant’. Which is pretty much ‘same shit different day’ but its called a variant because its slightly modified whilst being fundamentally the same. Viruses evolve. Very quickly. They do the evolutionary equivalent of ‘monkeys to men’ in about 9 days. (He says – Read More-
I just don’t do ‘shopping’. If you doubt that, just go look in my wardrobe. I don’t mind food shopping. But clothes? CLOTHES???? I can’t even do it online. How the fuck are you supposed to buy shoes online? How can that work? But I needed new jeans. And realised that no-one was going to – Read More-
Oh wow, congratulations and mazzletovs all round, Harry and Meg produced another sproglette. An almost royal one. Not sure about its exact status in the ‘line’ but I’m guessing: low. Just below the Duke of Kent’s butler but still higher than The Emperor of All of Rutland. And in deference to all that is lovely – Read More-
What’s your absolute favourite film of all time? The Godfather? Nah, too Italian. The Italian Job? Nah, I only wanted you to blow the bloody doors off. Shawshank Redemption? Nah, too… oh, its Stephen King, I don’t like him. Gone with the Wind? Nah, too slushy. Annie Hall? W**dy All*n??? Are you JOKING!!!! The Sound – Read More-
Portugal has been ‘closed’ again. Was open, or ‘green’, as we now call it, everyone booked flights and holidays and then… it went ‘Amber’. You can still go but when you return home they put you in prison in Folkestone with seven thousand asylum seekers from Syria and Afghanistan for a month. (Some of these – Read More-