I thought I’d seen it all. I thought the world had really reached a kind of ‘rock bottom’ normally reserved for wartime levels of ‘atrocious’, for acts of genocide, for apocalyptic meteorological phenomena, for tsunamis, even for Donald Trump. I thought nothing could surprise any longer. Until yesterday. When I saw a brand new Porsche. – Read More-
In 1762, John Montagu, the 4th Earl of Sandwich (no spoilers here) invented the doner kebab. The legend goes that he was such a compulsive gambler that he wouldn’t leave the tables to eat and demanded, as Earl’s do, that food be brought that he could eat with his hands. Well, preferably with one hand – Read More-
We watched a movie last night. I think probably our first since… since… since The Pandemic!!! started last March. Well, if there were others, they’re so notable they’re forgotten. I’d like to have my own cinema. Not a ‘home cinema’ but, like, The Electric in Notting Hill, or The Phoenix in East Finchley, big, proper, – Read More-
The thing I like about football is winning. The thing I hate, loathe, detest, get sickened by, and become maddened by, in football, is not winning. Particularly against teams we ‘should beat’. Ok, there’s no guarantees in life or football. Anyone doubting the wisdom of that truism just think back to March, April, May… So – Read More-
Today, I was attacked. Not like, at tai chi, when we do it with swords or knives, planks of wood, lumps of concrete, done nicely, friendly, no. This bastard came at me with a fucking needle!!! Attached to a syringe!!! Filled with… LIQUID!!! Bastard!!! Doesn’t he know I’m a lifelong needlephobe? But as the liquid – Read More-
Brilliant! I’ve just learned that Steps, the millennial errr… well… not quite ‘super’ group, more… sort of… like… oh yeah, total waste of space, time and AIR!!!, are having a retrospective type thing to ‘get people moving in Lockdown’. Because most people are totally unaware that sitting on a sofa for 16 hours eating chocolate – Read More-
Ok, so having slagged off lateral flow tests yesterday, I thought I’d better take one. For YOU. Because I’m prepared to lay myself on the line in the interests of my people! Ok, not so much lay on a line as shove a stick up my nose. Quite a long stick in my case, obviously. – Read More-
For the next part in my ongoing (to eternity) and very popular series “All statistics IS bollocks” (and apparently a lot of grammar is too, innit), I’d like to look at… well, statistics, obviously. A new one came out today in the sports pages. And remember, in the beautiful game that none can watch live, – Read More-
Look I don’t like to gloat, unless football’s involved, I’m not normally smug, unless I’m speaking to you or any other unworthy, and its not in my nature to be competitively celebratory. I’ve never previously had the opportunity to create vaccine envy. But I’m getting the vaccine on Wednesday. What? How? Who? Where? Really??? Yes, – Read More-
America is burning! Not, sort of, literally, they didn’t set any fires. That’s probably today. But metaphorically, the ‘home of democracy’ is under mob rule. The only problem being that the leader of that mob is, currently, the (once) elected president of that country. Normally civil insurgence occurs to overthrow a dastardly, vile, corrupt and – Read More-