They’re clever, those football people. Every year they run loads of international ‘friendly’ matches, meaningless events with unlimited substitutions in which great players get hurt, the games are awful because they’re trying out ‘new systems’ every 20 minutes and no-one really gives a shit who wins or, in my case, who is playing. So they – Read More-
Ok, you can go on a pilgrimage to Mecca, but they call that ‘the Haj’, or you can do one to Rome, and if you’re a Roman Catholic priest you can even do a pilgrimage to Chang Mai (cryptic and cruel in just one little suggestion). Druids have pilgrimages to Stonehenge. Rockers go to Graceland, – Read More-
Ok, I miss Lila. I would. She’s special. And I would be missing the football, but its internationals and I really don’t care about them one little jot. Although if I’d have known Israel were playing Scotland on Thursday I might have been tempted to go to Haifa and watch. It’s only an hour away. – Read More-
They’re having a competition for jet pack, errr, people. Those who ‘fly’ around the place, almost like Iron Man but without the extreme levels of sophistication that only the truly talented, like the CGI dudes at major film studios, can really achieve. Robert Downey accelerates up past the ozone layer in 4 seconds whereas these – Read More-
Man plans, God laughs, what does EasyJet do? The errant daughter, the one that we banished to Germany because she’s deemed too evil to live in Britain, flew over to join us today, from Berlin. I was tracking the flight on the EasyJet system, which is in fact quite impressive and genuinely ‘live’. You press – Read More-
A third of under-25s in Britain do not drink alcohol. Not a drop. The rest address the whole ‘getting pissed’ thing with a disinterest verging on the plainly sensible. It’s almost as if they view binge-drinking, throwing up in Ubers, falling over drunk and waking up in the kerbside as some kind of bad thing. – Read More-
It had to happen. Man can only work, play, tour, run around like a headless chickens, baby-care for so long and then he (or in fact she, not in reference to any impending trans events coming soon in my life, but because women can get tired too) needs to rest. So we went to Russia – Read More-
…young and sweet only 17… that was me. In 1973. I was… the Dancing Queen! And I revisited 1973 last night for a friend’s 60th birthday party. It (thank fucking Christ) wasn’t fancy dress, but musically it was as as 1970s as a pair of ‘loon pants’, platform shoes and LSD. And thus was nostalgic. – Read More-
The front page headline on last night’s evening standard read: “royal invite for NHS Doc who helped princess walk tall”. I mean it didn’t have any !!!!! after it but it could well have done. And we still would have had no idea what the fuck they were talking about. But of course (???) its – Read More-
The wonderful thing about Russians is that Russians are wonderful things. Sorry, that was ‘tiggers’ but I’m sure Pooh Bear will forgive for me borrowing his phrase. Because Russians are wonderful, never think otherwise. They drug their entire athletics team, orders coming right from the Kremlin, which has its own doping department, an under-secretary for – Read More-