I’m a theoretical cricketist. In theory, I love the game. Love the figures, the scores, love the way everything is analysed by the run, by the wicket, by the minute. It’s a statisticians dream sport. And although every other sport now measures how many drops of sweat each player produces per minute, in the first – Read More-
So I went to pick the kids up from school and decided, on the spur of the moment, to do so without trousers on. And I never wear underpants because, due to my ‘neurodiversity’, Marks & Spencer’s finest cause me terrible irritation. Even Calvin Kleins are bothersome. Therefore, I am Commando! The head teacher stopped – Read More-
I’ve been so busy this week, I haven’t had time to even mention Wimbledon. Not only the finest tennis tournament in the world, but more importantly, the only one which really matters. Ok, the only one I ever bother watching. And I do watch it. I would say ‘religiously’ but me and religion enjoy a – Read More-
So we download books. For the kindles. And Mel & I, plus any assorted daughters, all read them. Generally. I generally take a pass on any book with ‘flowers’ in the title and Mel didn’t read the Roy Keane biography. I’ll read the rom-coms, because I’m that kind of man. One who likes crying. But – Read More-
Our nation has indeed been blessed, this week. We have had the honour to bestow an appropriately grandiose, full state visit to the president of our neighbour-nation and long-term allies, the Republic of France. We rolled out the king and queen to greet him, lined up the Cold Stream Guards for his inspection and opened – Read More-
So I had a ‘spot’ thing by my collarbone. Dark. Sinister looking. Didn’t bother me but Mel thought it seriously affected my normal ‘perfection of beauty’ so I was sent to a ‘skin dude’. Who stuck a microscope on my chest and declared it was ‘nothing’, just some blood vessels. And we all need them. – Read More-
So we drove up to Yorkshire. It’s a long way. But it’s fine, because they let you drive fairly fast on the motorway. Ok, they keep slowing you down, but I don’t think they really mean it. All those ‘50’ signs are just to test their wiring. But then you get to Yorkshire. And for – Read More-
In celebration of Labour’s one year anniversary of winning the general election, I’m going to travel the whole country telling everyone I meet how wonderful this government is, what a joy it is to live in Britain under Starmer’s command and how they should all be sending their postal votes NOW for the next election, – Read More-
Black Sabbath are playing their last ever gig this weekend. Appropriately, at Villa Park. Because what starts in Birmingham should emphatically end in Birmingham. No idea why, just sounds nicely profound. The band are old, Ossie Osbourne has Parkinson’s and it is probably time to call it a day. But you simply can’t underestimate the – Read More-
Rachel Reeves broke down in tears in parliament yesterday. And in doing so, caused a ‘mini-Liz Truss’ and crashed the markets. Three tears, a major tsunami on the trading floor. Not that anyone trades on a ‘floor’ any longer. They sit in luxurious offices with their Gucci-clad feet resting on a desk made from one – Read More-