Summer’s are dead boring. There’s no football. You go on holiday and spend a fortnight hiding from the sun and standing under a cold shower, eating foreign muck and spending Euros. Its so hot out there you can barely get your sandals over your socks before heading back into water. Ok, there’s a bit of cricket, some tennis, but without football, life is barely worth living. Until tonight!!!

Because the World Cup starts today!!!

Ok, its the… ‘other’ world cup. The ‘different’ world cup. I don’t think I’m allowed to use any gender specific terminology without getting cancelled, arrested or castrated by those of gender neutrality (like Switzerland) or of a trans-inclination. You see, I’m so ‘inclusive’ and ‘diverse’ and ‘woke’ that I shall just have to call it ‘the alternative World Cup’, just for purposes of differentiation and in no way implying any rank ordering of… those born with, but not necessary correctly deploying, or even keeping forever, a penis.

Talking of penises, Nigel Farage is causing trouble once more. This time he’s been sacked by his bank for being an impoverished, neo-nazi, Trump-supporting, right-wing, Brexeteering, tweeting, alt-right, totally-wrong… tosser. I don’t care that he doesn’t have the 30 grand required to keep a Coutts bank account open, in fact were I to find him begging on the street for pennies, I’d kick him and steal his hat. Or toss a Euro into his collection cup. And I get that no-one in their right mind should ever choose to have anything to do with the man. The question is: should the bank be allowed to so choose?

Farage is, unfortunately, famous for being a nob. Most of Coutts’ esteemed, wealthy and monied clientele are not famous. It would come as no surprise to me if half their account holders were Brexiteers, 96% are Tories, 87% hold right wing views and 42% don’t hate Donald Trump. But Coutts wouldn’t know because its their private lives. So by ‘un-banking’ Farage they’re actually discriminating, but against famous people who air their views. NOT just against disgraceful racists, because they don’t know who they are.

Happy Thursday

A xxxx