I’ve decided to advance my life skills up to new heights and approach technology as mind-blowingly contemporary as 1996!!! I added face recognition to my phone. Thinking it would make my life easier. So I followed the series of complex instructions (“look at your phone, with your face”) and it gave me a tick. Green one. The best of all possible ticks. So I shut down the phone, opened it up again and ‘face doesn’t match’ was the message. “Use pin or fingerprint”. Because whilst I was there being a techno-wizz, I spent twenty minutes running my thumb across the sensor at various angles. And, amazingly, that works. But I want the face thing. So I added another picture. Not another face, I don’t have a second. Despite what you might hear to the contrary, with me bein’ a Gemini an’all…

‘Face doesn’t match’. I know I’m getting older by the day, but how much can a face change over the course of 1 minute? Perhaps my expression was different. As I looked at my face being scanned it had a look of ‘abject boredom’ whilst when opening the phone it would have been one of ‘excited anticipation’. These algorithms aren’t as sensitive as we imagine.

Unless my face is not my face, but someone else’s!!! Hadn’t thought of that, had you?

Anyway, I’m not sure I can change that face in any significant way just so my fucking phone recognises it. Though, touch of Botox…

The good news is: I played tennis this morning for the first time in 5 weeks!!! My hip is absolutely no better than it was 5 weeks ago, though, oddly, no worse either. And I played ‘cautiously’, and I’m not just saying that in case Mel reads this, but I was unconsciously protecting the hip. Which consequently, didn’t hurt at all! And as I couldn’t get an appointment with the hip dude until a week on Thursday, there’s no-one around to tell me not to play again. And as it’s not really that much worse for having played (just a minor hobble at times), that’s definitely God’s way of telling me to carry on. The world of tennis simply shouldn’t be denied this wonderful exponent of the game.

Happy Sunday

A xxxx