It’s totally amazing. The event of a lifetime. The most ‘must see’ event for 500 years!!

Pope Leo (little bald geezer, white dress, big hat) and King Charles (little grey geezer, dark suit, crown) are praying together!! At the same time! Like… together!!! For the first time in 500 years, an English monarch and a pontiff are doing a kind of ‘duet’ to God. Simultaneously. And at the same time. In the Sistine Chapel. They could have done it at White Hart Lane but instead opted for that most wondrously opulent place in all of Catholic opulence, so they can check out Michelangelo’s famous paintings.

A big fuss has been made. Which I like. Two geezers, ‘bonding’, over a quick pray, then out for lunch. But the thing is, praying is communing with whichever God you choose to believe in. It is possibly the most singularly singular, personal, internal thing any person can ever do. Other than fantasising about Labour front benchers involved in activities with donkeys and maple syrup. Praying is just about YOU and HIM/HER/THEY. Whoever you’re standing next to is completely irrelevant, when you’re doing it. Unless it’s ‘competitive praying’ and you both score points and the loser gets struck dead by lightening. Otherwise, basically, you pray ‘alone’, whether you’re in a church full of people or sitting on the toilet.

Which may account why such an event only comes around every half-millennium, because it is pretty much pointless and meaningless. Maybe it takes 500 years to forget that bit, so you do it again.

Charlie and Leo also pray to different Gods. Our King is the head of the Church of England, which is Protestant, thus his God wears a hair shirt, a scruffy beard and has no place for ostentatious displays. Leo’s God has a fuck-off, diamond-encrusted solid gold cross round his neck, 4 inches long. He dresses like a rapper and drives a Lamborghini, all the while swinging incense around in a ruby and emerald smoker thing.

But you know what; vive la difference! As they say in Burnley. Let them pray together. There are worse things they could be doing. Like discussing Charles’s family or historical child abuse. Given those options, I’d be praying too. But to MY God. Who’s the oldest of them all. But still plays tennis. And listens to old rock music on YouTube.

Maybe I’ll call them, see if they fancy a ‘threesome’ in the Sistine?

Happy Thursday

A(men) xxx