Having managed to avoid mooses (I know, it shouldn’t have the final ‘s’, I just think it should), all summer in Newfoundland where they’re ’everywhere!!!!’, in vast numbers (yeah, right, figment of the Canadian tourist board’s imagination), I instead make my own. Though being European, I call it ‘mousse’. And it tastes of chocolate. And is, quite frankly, the best chocolate mousse in the world. Here’s the recipe.

Take: 6 eggs,
300 grams of Bournville chocolate (you can use other chocolate but only if you’re stupid or want it to taste like shit)
A litre of boiled water,
A pinch of salt (to fluff the eggwhites, innit)
1 Lila
1 Joey
1 bath to put 2 chocolate covered children into afterwards.
And bowls. Lots of bowls.

A friend showed me this recipe and it’s easy and brilliant.

Separate the eggs. No, I don’t mean shells, I mean whites and yokes, right? Beat the whites so they go white and fluffy. I’m sure there’s a term for this, but no-one told me.

Get the children to fight over who breaks up all the chocolate, eventually seeming to use 324 grams up but there’s only 300 on the scales. And the kids have full mouths. Go figure.

Pour boiling water over the chocolate. I’ve found doing this in some kind of vessel works much better than pouring it all over the kitchen table. Leave it for a ‘while’ (just how long depends how lucky you’re feeling) then pour off virtually all the water. The chocolate, amazingly, stays in the pan. Then you stir it like fuck. This is the man’s way of melting chocolate. Those of a more ‘gender fluid’ outlook may use a ‘Bain-Marie’.

Mix the chocolate into the yokes and once more, stir like your life depended on it. Keep little fingers OUT of the mixture. Which you then fold into the whites.

This creates 3 pans/bowls in various stages of chocolatisation. Which again need to be fought over and the contents distributed over little hands, arms, faces and most of the kitchen. And those standing in it.

I would have taken a photo but I was too covered in chocolate to pick up a phone and too busy breaking up fights about who has what utensils to lick.

Make it. You’ll thank me. The rental terms for Lila and Joey can be found in the link below. Because, quite frankly, I couldn’t have done it without them. (HELP MEEEEEEE!!!!!)

Happy Thursday

A xxxx