Tomorrow is the festival of Passover. And Easter. And as Passover is all about ‘telling the story’, you could, if pushed, combine these two festivals, merge them together. So when the Jews finally flee the horrible, sadistic Pharoah who had enslaved them, you could have Jesus leading them through the Red Sea instead of Moses. It’s a small thing but nicely inclusive. And then kill off Moses and let him get re-born, for a change, just before he brings down the 10 commandments.

I’m not a religious man. But I do like food. So ‘being Jewish’ simply means I get to eat chopped liver more than your average non-Jew. The praying bit I don’t get so exited about. In fact, I avoid it like… well, it is Passover, like (one of) the (10) plague(s). So Passover is always my favourite event of the Jewish calendar. Because it is ALL about food. Ostensibly in a restrictive way, because you can’t eat bread or anything made with flour, for 8 days. But in fact that means some (probably greedy, piggish) proto-Jew got really creative and established a whole ‘gluten-free’ world long before it became the world’s most fashionable allergy. And its all good and fab. We can eat ‘unleavened bread’ all we want. And its ok. In a ‘rock-hard, cardboardy’ kind’a way. But the festival bit is all about the special food and most importantly, its symbolism within ‘the story’.

So you have what’s called ‘the Seder’, where families sit round, tell the story, which we all know, but its gotta be done, of the Jews escape from Egypt, back in the day. And eat. You eat during the telling, bitter herbs to symbolise the bitterness of slavery. Matzo because they didn’t have time to leaven their bread before fleeing, in the pre-Paul-Hollywood days. We eat granite to symbolise building a pyramid, we eat cats because of the Egyptian thing, and we eat humble pie because of the slavery. Please don’t treat much of that literally. But the point is, the food represents the history. And then: we have dinner. And sing a few songs.

They asked for someone to ‘lead the Seder’ at the care home where my dad (97) and Mel’s dad (96) both currently reside. And we thought… well why not? All you need is 12 years of rabbinical study and a degree in Religious History. Or a cheat book. Which I have. I’m thinking changing the ‘symbols’ to ‘cymbals’ so at least it’ll be something they can all hear, and it may keep my dad awake for the duration.

Happy Easter/Pesach

A xxxx