Just when you thought it might be of some, minor, educational or informational benefit to actually read the Daily Mail (in this case the Sunday version but its definitely the same beast) then you really need to think again. You should only EVER read a Mail publication to laugh at its stupidity or get really angry because it is so awful. And worse still, its read, as a kind of gospel, by an awful lot of people.

That sorry newspaper reported that whilst Boris speaks in parliament, he is being distracted, titillated, provoked and possibly aroused. By the Shadow Chancellor who apparently crosses and uncrosses her legs repeatedly when Boris is speaking, in a move reminiscent of Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct. There’s a photo of a gorgeous Sharon Stone, in that gorgeous white dress, from the movie. In case you’ve forgotten it. Which no man who saw the movie ever has. Or anyone who identifies as ‘male’. He. Him. His. Nob.

And I can understand how easily Boris gets distracted, that is possibly the source of all his current woes. And we all know how he has an eye for the ladies. Possibly other body parts beyond an eye too. He has a history. A long one. History, not sure about anything else.

But Angela Rayner? ANGELA RAYNER??? I think possibly that Kier Starmer is more attractive and he’s the ugliest labour leader since Michael Foot. The very thought of that great northern lump of Corbyn-idealising, Bolshy, gobby horse doing anything with her legs fills my mouth with bile. Boris maybe desperate, but Angela Rayner??? She’s unworthy to share a page with La Stone.

But at least the time spent in my indignation over this farce was time spent away from the sports pages. Where depression lies. And upset. And tragedy. And horror. And a level of pear-shapedness which my football team seems to unconsciously crave. The match itself was beyond abysmal. I don’t need a bunch of Daily Mail Man United fans telling me how bad Spurs played. I KNOW!

Happy Sunday. At least the sun’s shining.

A xxxx