We’re in the final countdown for the THE BUDGET!!!! Not just any old budget but a MASSIVE one with block capitals and exclamation marks. Because never before have a government, however incompetent they may have appeared at the time, spent so much time, effort and energy on dithering around speculating on every single facet of our financial well-being and considering how many ways they can ruin it and lead us into penury. We’re 6 days away from disaster.

But moronic, incapable, unqualified chancellors aside, we need to discuss ‘the leader’. The Boss. The Prime Minister of all England and a few other little countries too. Known collectively as ‘the liabilities’. Because we’ve all realised that we have a leader who can’t lead. A statesman who can’t state. A man with all the gravitas of a deer-in-the-headlights. Who puts fear into… no-one. A weak, pathetic… Arsenal fan!!!

So obviously he has to go. To where, that’s not my problem. And although the rumours have abated somewhat this week as to ‘a take-over’, a de-throning, they remain never far from the surface. As they would when the guv’nor is a wet rag and is greatly, unelectably unpopular with voters as well as his own party.

Yet in the last rounds of speculation over ‘the new leader’, we’ve had the Wes Streeting brigade, we’ve had the ‘bring Ange back from her shame and her six houses, none of which she’s paid stamp duty on, and make her the leader she should be because she was pregnant at 16 so therefore knows how to run the country’.

But the man originally tipped as the true heir to the throne of Labour Britain has gone all quiet. Though on tv this morning he refused to deny his leaderly aspirations.

Andy Burnham. Mayor of Manchester and professional northerner. He just hates ‘London’. Not just the City and the people, but the entire concept of ‘London’ in all it encompasses. When it rains in Manchester (every fucking day), it’s the fault of ‘Westminster’. He hates London, he resents it, he has a chip on his northern (narrow) shoulder about six km wide and he hates the fact that London generates a third of Britain’s GDP. That’ll be all those ‘non-working people’ then. According to the nonsensical and stupid definitions used by his party. These not-working-people seem to subsidise all the workers. Go figure.

If Burnham becomes PM Parliament will no longer be referred to as ‘Westminster’ because he’ll move it to the Wheeltappers & Shunters Club meeting house in Barnsley. Buckingham Palace is going to Burnley. Windsor Castle will become Widnes Castle and…

God help us all.

Happy Thursday, from here in LONDON!!!

A xxxx