This weekend, Sunday morning to be precise, we’re off for a few days in Vienna. Mel’s birthday ‘surprise’ is well and truly out of the bag as the combined forces of British Airways, American Express and Mel’s almost obsessive need to ‘prepare her packing’ even for a 3-day, carry-on trip spilled all those beans. Which – Read More-
Sunday nights is bath night in our house. We bring in the zinc bathtub from the outhouse, put it on the kitchen floor and boil pans of water for a while. Being the man I bath first. Then the water gets used by everyone else in strict order of age, favours given, debts owed, promises – Read More-
Freedom of speech is an ulitmate ideal. A cornerstone of true democracy. The benchmark by which nations are judged. And the only thing standing between me and a prison cell. England allows free speech, in virutally every circimstance, unless that speech is inflammatory or inciting to violence or other crimes. America has free speech in – Read More-
The world is just so full of contradictions. Replace the word ‘contradictions’ with ‘shit’ and you lose precious little meaning. I just read that the ‘5-a-day’ mantra, the rule which has dictated my fruit and vegetable intake for most of my adult life, is being upgraded. Or downgraded. Or quantatively eased. And now should be – Read More-
To Anfield we went, the boys in blue To fell the mighty, to give them what was due That was the mission, that was the quest, and now its all over, you know the rest. It was all great, all dandy, a truly fantastic start for nearly 100 seconds we really looked the part. Then – Read More-
The first Scientology Church marriage took place in London a month ago. Because my City is right-on, up-to-the-minute, well-cool, adaptable, in with the hep-cats, on message and well cool. Oh, and a bit stupid. This has been seen as an endorsement for the Church of Science-Fictology as a ‘true religion’. That L Ron Hubbard’s tale – Read More-
The headline ran: “200,000” children watch hardcore porn”. What I want to know is what’s wrong with the rest of the bloody children, the ones who don’t? The porn’s there, its free, be stupid not to use it. How else you gonna learn about nipple clamps? They should have a GCSE in porn, validate it – Read More-
It was Mel’s birthday last week. Or the week before. As if I’d forget. And I booked a ‘surprise’. Ahhhhh, how sweet. Yes, I am that kind, considerate, caring, loving, romantic and totally fucking wonderful. I am New Man. Soft enough to moisturise and be in touch with other’s feelings yet hard enough to spit. – Read More-
When the movie Emma came out I fell in love with the exsquisite young vision that was Gwyneth Paltrow. Call me fickle but I generally fall in love about 3 times in every movie. That’s why we see films. Well, that’s why I see films. To be absorbed in the plot, to actually become, temporarily, – Read More-
My first ever Saturday job was helping my dad’s mate out in his bespoke tailoring shop in Soho. 1970. I was 14. And ran lots of errands and stuff, as my tailoring skills weren’t quite honed yet. In fact they never were, I can’t sew on a button. But I wasn’t there to stand with – Read More-