I’ve been to Hong Kong. It always looks like this. Streets filled with zillions of people, all day, every day. No-one is taller than 5 foot 7, not a blond head in sight. If the people are smaller then they can be crammed into smaller living spaces. So they’ve been genetically modified by chemicals in – Read More-
of a 1-all draw. Here’s my thoughts on yesterday’s game at the Arse, in no particular order (pretty much how all my thoughts go, as my wife would say). 1. Before the game I’d have bitten your arm off for a draw. 2. I gave us the same odds of victory as I’d give the – Read More-
When you nail your colour to the mast, some fucker comes along and shoots that mast down with a big cannonball. Bastards. And so is the life of the football fan. His colours are permanently nailed to a mast and they’re always knocking it down. Every bloody week, so it seems. Yet hope must spring – Read More-
Ahhhhh, freedom, such a magnificent concept, such a superlative ideal. The dream that liberates us, whilst in some ways, constraining others. And if you express your freedom you’re either a libertarian or a total bastard, depending on whether you’re scottish or not. Or other things, perhaps. Take Andy Murray, f’rinstance. He used his freedom of – Read More-
I’ve always had the greatest respect for Emma Watson. She was always clever and bright, consistently scoring better that both Harry Potter and Ron Weasley in spells, Studies of the Dark Arts and Dragon Rearing. After that she went to Harvard, or Yale; somewhere American, and acquired a BSc in Witchcraft, or Politics or something – Read More-
I’m a big fan of taxation. I love it. The more I pay the happier I feel. I’m contributing to the national pot. Helping the NHS to survive. Allowing the government to help those less well off or unemployed to thrive. Keeping all those Latvian child-molesters and Romanian pick-pockets flooding to our shores in search – Read More-
We all love it when giants are killed. We even have a word for it: giant-kiling. If that is in fact one word. Who cares? And the manner in which giants are killed is all-important. So when the Great, the Godly (in their minds) Manchester United take their zillions of pounds of inter-galactic superstars (I’m – Read More-
The word ‘ruination’ describes the ruin of a nation. And Scotland has ruined our nation. Or rather, Scotland, Gordon Brown, Alex (bleedin’) Salmond and Ed (poxy) Milliband. It’ll never be the same. The whole democratic process is fucked up beyond redemption. We might as well adopt sharia law instead and start cutting off limbs instead – Read More-
Its tropical here in London today. Don’t know what its like in Scotland but I’d guess at miserable. For 45% of the population anyway. Its cloudy here, a little rainy, though not enough to keep superheroes like me and Spurs Paul off the tennis courts, however slippery they may become. (for ‘superhero’; read: ‘idiot’). But – Read More-
The Queen was in Glasgow when she formally met Alex Salmond, Scotland’s First Minister. EIIR: “How nice to see you Mr. Salmond.” AS: “Nice to see you Your Majesty. Now, what are we going to call Scotland when we win Independence? EIIR: “Oh dear, one hasn’t considered that yet!” AS: “How about calling it a – Read More-