… come back another day. Preferably one when I’m not going to play tennis. London is wet this morning. Very wet. Ahhhh, that’s good for the lawn, the flowers, the water supply. But its pretty much shit for anything else. Certainly won’t be much good for the cricket, unless it happens to be dry up – Read More-
So this afternoon Arsenal take on Aston Villa at Wembley. The FA Cup Final. Biggest game of the… month. Used to be the biggest game of the year, then it got devalued by crass commercialisation of other factors in the game and now no-one cares. Unless they’re in the final. So to celebrate this event, – Read More-
The best name for any organisation in the world is ‘Dignitas’. Its just right. Perfect. Doesn’t say a lot yet speaks volumes. Other Swiss names are less noble, less dignified, less succinct. Like Sepp Blatter, for example. That says: bumbling buffoon, old git, stupid, stubborn moron. Whereas Dignitas is so neat. Yet they don’t advertise, – Read More-
… I smell the blood of a weasly little Swiss Mun. Its all, finally, gone to shit at FIFA, the world governing body for football. Or rather, the shit that has been happening for the past quarter of a century has finally come to light. Thanks to that most unlikely of un-footballing nations, America. They – Read More-
Why does it always come back to Batman? He obviously had a much greater influence on my childhood than I first thought. What would Freud say? And would it be in German anyway? But to summon Batman they used ‘the Bat Signal’. A beam of light in the shape of a bat which lit up – Read More-
I know companies get very protective of their ‘intellectual property’, aggressively, litigiously so. Try and open a shop called ‘Apple’ and see what happens. Even if you actually sell apples and nothing else. You’d have fifty-seven Madison Avenue suits on your doorstep with injunctions and court orders before you could say ‘we’re open’. All charging – Read More-
Its all a load of bollocks. All of it. Everything. Every word spouted by ‘the scientific community’ and/or ‘government agencies’ is total rubbish, lies, never to be believed. Statistically speaking. I went to the doctor a few years ago and they checked my cholesterol. “OH MY GO-O-O-OD!!!! FUCK MEEEEE!!!! ITS 6.2!!!!!!” They called an ambulance – Read More-
There’s a rule now, to win the Eurovision Song Contest you have to have a beard. Or stubble, at least. Last year’s winner had a beard, even though he wears dresses too, and this year’s worthy(?) winner was fashionably stubbled as well. Fashionable for Stockholm that is. In Shoreditch they’d laugh at him. When we – Read More-
“Never let decent facts get in the way of stupid preconceptions and prejudices”. Who said that? Yeah, I did, but its clever so I must have read it somewhere. And its soooo true. But its not just for the National Front or the Socialist League or UKIP or ISIS, its not just the starting point – Read More-
In 2006 two lovely little kids, Christi and Bobby Shepherd, died in a tragic accident in Corfu. The boiler in their holiday apartment was built to such exacting Greek standards that they died of carbon monoxide poisoning. A tragedy. Which resulted in compensation being awarded to the parents of £320,000 each. I have no idea – Read More-