I worry that I’m becoming slightly gluten intolerant. Which would be fitting in a way as I’m pretty fucking intolerant to most things. But they’re all a matter of conscious choice, not bodily function. So here’s the problem. Not the intolerance itself, should I be the ‘victim’ of such a thing, but the fact that – Read More-
I’ve decided that being Jewish is a ‘condition’. Like a disease, but not life-threatening. Like eczema. And the term ‘condition’ is appropriate because, like everyone else in the world, we are conditioned. Ours is just a bit different. Maybe because there are so few of us, maybe because we have a collective history that you – Read More-
Sharks get a very bad press. And its just not fair. And its all because of the wrong kind of music. When you watch an animal documentary, an Attenborough or some such, for long stretches there’s no narration. They play music instead. So as they show all those brightly coloured tropical fishes nibbling their merry – Read More-
The good thing about the Olympics is that its on for the entire day and most of the night. The bad thing is that its on for the entire day and most of the night. So I decided (very very early on in my life) that I would not stay up til 3 in the – Read More-
I have a bath every Sunday morning. That’s the most interesting thing you’ll read today, I’m sure. But I have a bath because I need to ease the aches, pains and stresses that I inflicted yesterday on the tennis court, so that I can do the same today. I don’t do aromatherapy fucking oils, honest. – Read More-
We love a public inquiry round my way. Its almost England’s biggest industry. We’ve had 3 into the Hillsborough disaster, the last finishing just a few months ago, 30 years after the event. Made a lot of people feel better. Though failed to bring any of the 98 dead back to life. Even lawyers have – Read More-
My route home from work never changes. I am commuter ergo I don’t think. Don’t have to. I’m Reggie Perrin. I have a pattern. It never changes. Other than when London Transport deem changes must occur. And then I hate them for the ‘disruption’. To my schedule. To my routine. A couple of decades ago – Read More-
It seems that every day I read in the papers how there’s not enough sex going on in the world. Odd that the world population is rising but maybe that’s some form of immaculate conceiving going on, or test tube babies being manufactured in China. Always China. Everything’s made there. Twenty-somethings bemoan their lot. “I – Read More-
I really couldn’t care less if David Cameron wants to give a knighthood to the Lithuanian refugee who washed his ministerial car every thursday. The man did a good job, the car was always shiny. Arise Sir Herkus. And Samantha always looked lovely. Shiny hair, polished nails, lovely dresses. Which totally justifies giving out OBEs – Read More-
When you’re in a hole; stop digging. Sound advice. Heeded by all men (and that’s the inclusive use of ‘men’, not the sexist one, it includes anyone who has a pair of testicles). But no-one ever told Donald Trump. And if they had he wouldn’t have listened. Or, he’d have listened, but only after digging – Read More-