Ok, we’re in a bit of trouble. We played Slovakia. Top player: Martin Skrtel, the tattooed Liverpool blood-sucking zombie. They have one other ‘star’ but as he wears a Mohican hair-do we can discount him. The game went pretty much according to plan, with England bossing it totally. But the plan was, probably, that goals – Read More-
I’m glad I have a beard. Even though I’m not in Afghanistan. Because over there they have an expression: bacha bareesh, which means ‘boys without beards’. Which in turn means that they’re pre-pubescent. Not that they choose to be clean-shaven, but that they simply aren’t old enough to shave yet. Maybe its to differentiate them – Read More-
just 4 days to go til the referendum. Or, as its now known by everyone outside of Westminster: the Fucking Referendum. Because we never wanted it. We never asked for it. But we have it. Due to a momentary Farage-panic by David Cameron. And everyone is now asking “how divisive will this be for the – Read More-
Coming home tonight. Bummer. Leaving the peace, quiet, sunshine and delightfulness of blue-skyed, beautiful Mykonos for… for… for frikkin’ Gatwick. Asshole of the world. But there ya go. And although ‘London’s’ least favourite airport may be the asshole of the world, its not the only contender for the prize. Oh no. There are soooooooo many – Read More-
Went down to the beach bar to watch the football yesterday. Biggest day in English football since… the last biggest day in English football. As we never really win anything, every match becomes its own ‘biggest’ thing by default. Though safe to say it probably was Wales’s biggest day in football for over half a – Read More-
I’m sixty. Holy shit. How does that even happen? Seemingly impossible and yet… and yet… one day you’re a young Turk (trying to get into Europe; eating kebabs, slaughtering Kurds…) and the next you get a message from the government offering you all kinds of benefits as befits someone your age. SOMEONE YOUR AGE!!!! Gotta – Read More-
Ok, so Brexit is winning. Should the polls be believed. And can we believe them? After the last general election when they all got it tragically, diabolically wrong? No, of course we can’t, they’re all tossers. Mainly because people lie when polled. And as the polls are used by all parties before any election to – Read More-
Good news in yesterday’s paper for all cholesterol sufferers. A miracle almost. What has previously been thought of as ‘bad’ cholesterol, the LDL stuff, that’ll ‘kill you deader than dead in no time’ that required 90% of men over 35 to take statins, that was the ‘heart attack waiting to happen’, has now been shown – Read More-
Can you imagine going to a football match, on a lovely day, with your family, big event, French hospitality (du pain, du vin and la mistresse) and you get invaded by a fucking army of Russian neo-nazi racist scum? Not just a few drunk thugs taking offence at some banter. This was a pre-meditated, synchronised – Read More-
don’t know when I’ll be back again… Well, I do really. Mel made me book return flights. Even though I didn’t want to. We’re on our way to Mykonos. By the time you read this we’ll be there. Greek island, in the med… not a fucking clue. Fortunately the pilot knows. I hope. Can’t send – Read More-