Without a doubt, my favourite ex-Imperial Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan is David Duke. Mainly because he must be colour blind and didn’t realise that the wig he bought was the totally wrong colour and doesn’t match his beard. But also because he’s just soooooo nasty. But in a very polite, intellectual, exceedingly – Read More-
The Scots are revolting. Is that news? Well, what’s actually happening is that Nicola Sturgeon has become even more revolting than even we thought possible. In the wake of the worst rugby defeat by the English last Saturday, Nic has decided that she can no longer be a part of the United Kingdom. So she – Read More-
A ‘robot’ is a machine that performs tasks by itself. They don’t all have inbuilt guns and knives, some just hoover the floor. But the essence of a robot is that its somehow interactive with the world in which it lives. And in the case of Terminator robots, in the time in which they happen – Read More-
This is Karolina. She’s a sweet little Polish 18 year-old student blond thing currently studying photography at Kingston University. Ahhhhh. Nice. This is what happens to nice little sweet students when they down half a bottle of vodka before going to a nightclub which then refuses them entry because they’re too drunk: Firstly they attack, – Read More-
The doner kebab was invented in 1975 in Great Titchfield St, Fitzrovia, just round the corner from the BT Tower. FACT! Ish… Ok, the first doner kebab I ever ate was from Great Titchfield Street in 1975. Latterly known as ‘the first day of the rest of my life’, forever after divided into ‘pre-Efes’ and – Read More-
We’re having a baby. As in ‘the family’. Daughter Natalie is about 39 weeks pregnant and growing and we’re in deep ‘preparation’ mode. I do my deep breathing exercises every day and have a bag packed and ready. Even though I’m going nowhere. But its what you do. What you also do is get ‘stuff’. – Read More-
That filthy Scottish bastard who slam-dunked Elliot Daly on the ground after 90 seconds of yesterday’s match at Twickenham with a horrible, illegal and potentially neck-breaking ‘tip tackle’ was given a yellow card. 10 minutes in the ‘sin bin’. He should have been red-carded or more appropriately given 10 minutes in the pillories. Though if – Read More-
I turned 60 last year. Old. Fucking old. But heh, I was only a day older than the day before, and its not like one minute you’re 27 and the next you’re 60. It just feels like that. One of the rules of getting old is that you have to moan about aches, pains and – Read More-
We need to talk about Emma Watson’s tits. I’m sorry, but that’s what its come to. Because a row has positively erupted over this very photograph, taken for Vanity Fair. As photos go, its ok. Emma has only two looks, this one, that I’ll call ‘hard and manly’ and another that she learned at Hogwarts, – Read More-
What do you do when you’re playing a second-leg European tie and you have a four goal deficit from the first leg? Which is, quite frankly, massive. Almost insurmountable. Almost. Arsenal found themselves in such a situation on Tuesday night having been mullered (and Roben-ed, Vidal-ed and many others) 5-1 in Munich in the first – Read More-