Andy's Glasses

a blog through the eyes…

2017

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September 18, 2017

care home…

Do they have orthopaedic care homes? Or ‘sporting care homes’ perhaps? Where old people who refuse to ever slow down in their pursuit of athletic excellence can go and get put back together. To live their lives out being pumped full of steroids and being physiotherapied along so they can play just one more game – Read More-

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September 17, 2017

re-jig…

When you learn a new word you have to re-organise your internal glossary. Otherwise you’ll get it wrong in polite company and be accused of some form of obsessional political incorrectness. My mother always referred in to ‘coloured people’. No Mum, I’d advise, we call them ‘black people’. Oh no, wasn’t black, just light brown… – Read More-

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September 16, 2017

passage…

Britain never signed up to the full ‘Schengen’ agreement by which all member states of Europe, plus a few others like Norway agreed to ‘free passage of Europeans between states’. We never signed up because we’ve always had a small-island-mentality and we always will. Not saying it was a bad thing not to do the – Read More-

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September 15, 2017

four words…

In an effort to try and reduce obesity, the world’s fastest growing health risk, doctors are now going to send porkers on cookery courses. Exercise classes. So they can eat properly and move more. That will cost about 500 quid a person but they reckon the long-term gain in reduction of diabetes will more than – Read More-

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September 14, 2017

back to basics…

So a normal morning for me is nice. Mel brings me a cup of tea in bed as she leaves to go swimming (I know; spoilt rotten; which I reciprocate, in case you’re worried, on Saturdays when I go to me early martial arts and leave her lounging in bed like a total princess!!). And – Read More-

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September 12, 2017

iphone therefore I am…

The i-phone X is coming out. Sorry; THE I-PHONE X IS COMING OUT!!!! Raise the flag and shout halleluyah. Or at least, buy a few Apple shares. If you can afford 1. Cos its gonna be the biggest thing since the abacus. Since the wheel. Since sticky-backed-plastic. This is gonna be massive. It has to – Read More-

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September 11, 2017

the problem…

The problem with babies is that they are the absolute, total and constant definition of distraction. Even when they’re sleeping you have to keep checking that… they’re still ok, still breathing, haven’t grown wings, taken off, opened the window and gone to check out the neighbour’s tree. You just have to. So when they’re awake; – Read More-

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September 10, 2017

sunday papers…

When you have to go on an ‘exotic’ trip with work, that’s generally something special. And when Lila’s daddy announced months ago that he was going away for a few days in September, it was all very exciting. Ahhhh, fabulous. A week in Mexico. Mexico??? Who knew then about Irma? Who knew his arrival would – Read More-

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September 8, 2017

it…

I love Stephen King. Read everything he’s ever written. Except the Dark Tower series that they’ve now just made a movie out of. He’s written hundreds (almost) of books. All brilliant, all different. And if you think he is just about ‘horror’, then at least (The Shining) it is the best horror ever. But its – Read More-

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September 7, 2017

skirting the issue…

Lots of schools have adopted a policy of allowing girls to not wear skirts. They can’t run round in their knickers but can wear trousers instead, should they wish. In the interest of ‘equality for all’. But now a school in Lewes (which Londoners would loosely call ‘up north’ even though its on the south – Read More-

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