Roy Keane once attacked the ‘hospitality freeloaders’ at football matches, just verbally, unusually for him, and referred to them as ‘prawn sandwich eaters’. As if eating a prawn sandwich represented the most decadent, upper-class, almost aristocratic act a man could do. Women can eat them too but Roy probably had even more abuse to hurl – Read More-
I grew up in the 60s. That’s the 1960s. The 2060s haven’t arrived yet, you’ll know when they do because we’ll be in a post-climate-change dystopian nightmare with no power, no water, people eating each other, tsunamis on Oxford Street, floods, fires, dry seasons lasting a decade with wet seasons going on forever. The 1960s – Read More-
BOris GOt Fucked. That’s not strictly what ‘bogof’ means, but just seems appropriate. In the circumstances. Which are that due to obesity considerations (we are a nation of total fat bastards) companies offering meal deals ‘two for one!!!’ were going to be stopped in the case of ‘junk food’. Or in the case of ‘food’, – Read More-
A beautiful game, ruined by the referee. I can only agree with Mikel Arteta completely and totally. The purpose of referees is purely ornamental, to look beautiful decked out in black; historical, from the old days before VAR; and as beneficiaries of the Premier League’s job-creation program to keep the unemployed off the streets. They – Read More-
So the football season has reached the point where even the most reddest of red Scousers has to admit defeat. That the ‘almost quadruple’ will have to wait til next year. Because even if Manchester City lose a match, which they won’t, they need to lose by 7 goals. Or thereabouts. Which, in terms of – Read More-
I’m not a judge. You may have noticed. Because even though I have the wisdom of King Solomon, the brain of an Einstein (just not necessarily the Albert one) and the moral sensitivities of Liam Gallagher, I don’t make judgments. However, if I WAS a judge and I WAS sitting in a court of law – Read More-
Poor Queenie. My beloved ruler of the waves has decided to miss the State Opening of Parliament for the first time since 1963, when she was pregnant with one of her evil children or other. This time word is that Her Maj is experiencing ‘episodic mobility problems’. Which is a posh way of saying ‘falling – Read More-
So the other major headline from Thursday’s elections is in Northern Ireland. ‘The Province’. Where, for the first time in that sort-of-nation’s 101 year history, the majority vote went to Sinn Fein. What used to be called, back in the day, ‘the political wing of the IRA’. This could lead to that most extraordinary of – Read More-
Yep, if you could just pull that noose, just, like, a little bit tighter round my neck, yep, yep… that should be fine. I’ll come clean. ‘Transparency’ (which I thought was another new gender option initially). State my position honestly. Clearly. Without deliberation: I don’t like Kier Starmer. I know what you’re thinking; that I – Read More-
There were elections here on Thursday. I went to vote. With Lila and Joey. Who were given free pencils. So it wasn’t a completely wasted event. I voted for the Conservatives because its the fucking council elections so who cares? The Tories generally keep the expenditure down and thus we pay less council tax. Who – Read More-