People assume, when they see me, that I’m this, pretty perfect physical specimen, neat, compact, tidy kind’a guy, fully in control of his limbs and extremities. Unfortunately this is not strictly the case as I’ve always had the pretty unfailing ability, as my dear mother used to say, to ‘fall over a blade of grass’. – Read More-
So let’s get it straight. What Farage actually said. Which was that Russia was provoked into attacking Ukraine by the ever eastward extensions of the EU and of NATO. You can disagree with that. But only if you’re a moron, an imbecile, any politician trying to score pathetic moral high ground points or anyone else – Read More-
Rishi Sunak made the greatest sacrifice possible, for a political leader. He knew that whenever the election was called he was going to be humiliated. There was no doubt nor question, it was only a matter of ‘how badly’. So he took one for the team. The football team. Because knowing how badly most ‘real’ – Read More-
The main political parties, and also the Lib Dems, Greens and Farages, have now laid down their projections and intentions should they win the election. Why the ‘other’ parties do so is beyond me, but they’re on election autopilot and know no better. It’s manifesto season so you ‘show your plumage’. Tossers. The Faragers, being – Read More-
I’m taking down all my posters from the bedroom wall. The 55 year-old one of 20 year-old Olivia Newton-John with flick-up hair, Charlie’s Angels, with more flick-up hair (I like flick-up hair), Kylie Minogue in hot-pants, Gal Gadot in Wonderwoman and the Wonderbra ad. All coming down. Mel doesn’t mind, long as it doesn’t leave – Read More-
We all hate Alexa, right? She sits there in the corner, as if she’s minding her own business. And we think her ‘business’ is to play us the radio channel of our choice, the album which springs to mind, a weather report that will be fucking awful. Whereas her actual ‘business’ is spying for Beijing. – Read More-
There’s a football tournament on. Don’t know if you caught that. Started last night. In Germany. Which makes all the metaphorical talk of ‘Munich being invaded by a Scottish army’ a bit… insensitive? Or maybe I’m just being too soft. Too historical. Anyway, there’s football in the middle of the summer and that’s something we – Read More-
I was eagerly awaiting the Green Party manifesto. I’m desperate to know how they’re going to save the planet. Or, at least, save the borough of Barnet. And yet I’m a little confused. To get their ‘manifesto’, they need to meet up. Traveling from across the country to a meeting place in, say, Stony Stratford, – Read More-
I was asked to write a full report on the island of Sicily. Because even though I’ve written about nothing else for the last week, for some people (you know who you are), that’s not enough. No. They want to be spoon-fed the details, they want bullet points and guarantees, issued by me, with full, – Read More-
Can’t tell you how wonderful the wedding was on Sunday. So I won’t. Fuck you. You should’a made the effort. Oh, alright then, it was hot. Not as hot as it could have been because there was a bit of cloud cover, causing a searing, scalding 34 degrees to become a just mildly hot 28, – Read More-