Before we start talking about the Labour MPs being suspended for ‘suspected racism, sexism, antisemitism, Islamophobia and possibly cyber-rape!!! (well why not?)’, we need to establish the rules. And the rule for WhatsApp is: there are no rules. Well, there shouldn’t be. If you want to offend someone, upset someone, toxically abuse them, then send – Read More-
I have decided to come out of my forced retirement from skiing and hit the pistes once more. In my case, probably quite literally, and normally face-first. I had to take a ‘hiatus’ of about 10 years as my shoulder pains worsened and risk of damaging it beyond its already ‘catastrophic’ were too worrying. But – Read More-
I’m moving to Miami. Did I tell you? Oh, must have slipped my mind. I haven’t told Mel yet either. But they’re building a block of flats there… ok, Bentley, the car people, are building a block of flats there. And for just $5.8million, you get a ‘drive-in flat’. All the flats, on all 62 – Read More-
An amazing thing happened to me yesterday. I watched a sporting event on tv and came away at the end deliriously happy, thrilled to bits, excited with massive relief and feeling on top of the world, invincible and ready to invade Iran single-handedly. The England France rugby match was always likely to be heated. At – Read More-
A woman had a terrible reaction to her Botox fix. Ended up in hospital with her eyes so swollen they wouldn’t open, lots of pain and terrible swelling in her skin. Friends told her that at least there were no wrinkles. If she could have smiled, she would have. I’m not saying this woman is – Read More-
Donald Trump is a moronic imbecile who shouldn’t be allowed to order in McDonalds, let alone run a country. Donald Trump is a complete antidote to the anodyne norm of benign and impotent national leaders. If these two sentences seem incompatible, incongruous, contradictory? then welcome to my world. Every time I watch the news, those – Read More-
Prostate cancer is all the rage. Now that Giles Coren was told he has a prostate so ineffectively cancerous that it requires no action, everyone wants it. It’s a fashion statement. For men of certain age it has taken over from a Harley Davidson as ‘the must have thing’ for between your legs. And prostate – Read More-
Ya know; anyone can be a Liverpool fan. Its so fucking easy. You just relax, get a bit exited if you’re not 3-nil up by half time, possibly a bit anxious if ‘they’ score a goal when you’ve only netted 6, and just stroll away at the end, giving Arne Slot a wave with another – Read More-
Ok, so I cook a bit. It’s no big deal. Here’s what you do. You get some ingredients, stir ‘em up, marinade something wot needs marinading, fry those which require it, put a lid on and cook for 15 minutes/1 hour 25/3 hours 42 on gas mark 7/220 degrees/on a low light on the hob, – Read More-