There are so many things that bother me about yesterday’s fucking horrific murders in Sydney that, quite frankly, I don’t know where to start. But inspired by The Sound of Music (as all my life is ruled by awful Julie Andrews movies either featuring really bad Cockney accents or ones with children running from nazis), – Read More-
I love brunch. I hardly ever partook of such a meal as I’d worked out that if you combine breakfast with lunch, you’re effectively losing out on a meal. Why not have brunchinner and just eat once a day? I mean? Really? Yet as a concept it’s a good one. Because you can eat breakfast – Read More-
Europe is ‘decaying’, according to Donald Trump. And in some respects he’s right. Europe’s growth is shit compared to America’s. But the main reason for the ‘decay’ is, as he sees it, immigration. And in some respects he’s right there too. So he’s taken up a ‘pro-Putin’ stance, or maybe, a stance of Putin appeasement, – Read More-
The government’s ‘obesity tsar’ has made a new law. And it reads thus: “From hereon thereafter and from this day forth, women, trans-women, almost women and a few camp men shall be offered food portions of a lesser volume and weight than those given to people with testicles, people who wish they had testicles or – Read More-
An amazing thing happened yesterday whilst we were up in Scotland. For just the fourth time this year, for the first time since August, Spurs won a home game. I shall have to go to Scotland more often. Obviously. My fault entirely. I should have realised that the problem was not ‘dodgy manager’, not ‘shitty – Read More-
I’m totally burning with pride over the Eurovision organisation. To the extent where I may be able to force myself to sit through more than half a song before grabbing the remote and screaming “NO MOOOOORRE”, then switching to the qualifying laps of the F1. Which interests me no more than the Eurovision but sounds – Read More-
Every day my ipad presents me a random photo from the 62 million of mine which Apple keep for me. In the clouds, allegedly. And they send me a ‘bill’ for ‘extra storage’, about 70p a month. That’s the cost of having grandchildren. Ok, part of the cost. But I’m going to get them to – Read More-
If you want a curry, just go to your local ‘Tandoooori’, or the ‘Light of India’, which you can find on every single high street and most side streets, in the land. But if you do that, what do you really get? You get a wonderful meal (I love curry; if you don’t, best you – Read More-
Good morning Britain. As your chancellor, I’d just like to explain to you why I said some things wot may have not been strictly, 100% accurate, at the time of saying. Because the right wing press seem to think that my friend, Kier, and me, have been somewhat ‘economical’ with the truth in our pre-budget – Read More-