I can be subject to accusations of occasional exaggeration. Which in turn could be described as hyperbole. Particularly when football is concerned. Because, quite frankly, every match is ‘the most important game of the seaon’, otherwise it’s not worth playing. Ok, that rules out England friendlies because they’re shit and no one cares about the – Read More-
Power corrupts. Unless its at Battersea Power Station because they don’t make it there any more. They used to. Then they abandoned it. Forever. But if 24 hours is a long time in politics, ‘forever’ is a very short term in property development. (I’m going to mix in a few more metaphors to create a – Read More-
As you know: I’m possibly the most perfect specimen of male-not-as-young-as-he-once-was-but-still-FUCKING-AWESOME!!! Possibly. But it involves a lot of work. Not ‘work’, haven’t done that YET. But I will. Lips pumped up like my bike tyres; waist sucked dry of anything remotely ‘lipid’, eyes lifted, boob-job, nose-job, bum-lift,EVERYTHING!!! But first comes health. And I adhere to – Read More-
There’s a ceasefire. In Iran. Donald Trump has announced that there will be a 2 week ‘pause’ in the bombing of Persia. Then he’ll ’eliminate a civilisation’. Possibly. Probably. Depending on how the Straits of Hormuz goes. It’s open now, as part of the ceasefire deal, but partly closed. A bit more open than it – Read More-
Before the pandemic, (remember the pandemic? Everyone had covid; no-one went to work; we walked round the Heath every day otherwise we’d have been arrested; Boris had some parties; we banged saucepans together every Thursday night to save people from dying in hospitals; I built a new shed; you MUST remember!), we were regular cinema-goers. – Read More-
All last week they were saying: weather on the bank holiday weekend is gonna be shit. Dave’s coming, bringing winds, rain, snow (no joke there was a blizzard in the Herts game yesterday) and generally, weather not fit for tennis. And yet it’s been fab. Every day’s had sunny spells, warmth (almost) and loveliness. Ok, – Read More-
Joey’s in Miami. And is trying his hardest to out-gorgeous his grandfather in the battle of the balcony poseurs. Well, Jo-jo; YOU’VE GOT A LONG WAY TO GO!!! He’s not even holding a cigarette, FFS. I blame the parents. And with everything I do for that child… Back home, my favourite politician, Zack Polanski, continues – Read More-
Ali-G, God bless his immortal soul (as the actual ‘character’ is long dead even though its creator is alive and well), would always speak of ‘me mate Dave’. Invariably followed by some really stupid words, thoughts or actions. It was brilliant. Because we all have a ‘mate Dave’. Even if half insist on remaining Davids. – Read More-
I spend a lot of time… ok, 3 minutes a night, but according to Mel it’s ‘FOREVER!!!!’, flicking through 862 tv channels to see what’s on. FOMO. Which, in the world of streaming, is probably particularly annoying. But the thing is, streaming is great if you know what you want to watch. Yet is way – Read More-
I’ve created my own political party. Well, England used to have 2 parties, which served us well for a hundred years, with a few ‘peripherals’, like the Raving Loonies, the Monster Zomby party, the Greens and the Lib Dem’s (this rather insulting ranking is 100% intentional), just for the appearance of good democracy. I don’t – Read More-