I’ve changed. Don’t worry, I’m still gorgeous and fabulous and magnificent in every way, but I’ve changed. From being a professional optician, a football fan, political critic and devotee of all the arts (as long as its not ballet, opera or… or art), who happened to be Jewish; I’m now a professional Jew who works, – Read More-
As political statements go, this was a doozy. As a protest, it kind’a lacked direction. Even as an act of terrorism, it had all the logic of blowing up your own car. It was ‘shitting on your own doorstep’. Because these 3 total fuckwits decided to blow up 4 ambulances. The very vehicles which may – Read More-
So life is good. Unless you’re a Spurs fan. Or an Arsenal fan. Or a West Ham fan. (Wolves and Burnley fans don’t count; they don’t live round here). And if you just ‘put yesterday’s match’ into the deepest, furthest reaches of your mind; where you never look. When you force those thoughts away into – Read More-
The miracle of the mangled foot continues to the point where people are going to be coming round with their sick, their ailing, their dying and get me to ‘lay hands’ upon them to ‘heal’ them. Or maybe lay my foot on them. It’ll be like Lourdes, but in north-west London. Because I played tennis – Read More-
I had an ‘incident’ on my bike yesterday, coming home from work. I turned a corner, ‘banking’ as you do on a bike, and my left foot hit the road and my motion yanked the foot under the pedal, pulling it under like they do to bind feet, in Old China. But I wasn’t in – Read More-
I feel sorry for Muslims. Because Islamophobia is real and it’s common. And like all phobias, it’s not particularly rational. Britain, along with all ‘patriotic’ nations, especially ones filled with white people, houses more than its fair share of xenophobes. And you can’t do anything about it. Its inbred, its ‘hereditary’, its learned and its – Read More-
Don’t panic. And don’t go to Kent. Then you should be fine. Ok, don’t talk to anyone who has been to Kent in the last 5 days. Or anyone who’s been to Club Chemistry, in Kent, ever. In fact, be careful of people who know people from Kent. Or those who knows someone who knows – Read More-
I haven’t really mentioned anything about football since last Tuesday, the day of the apocalypse. The day when the farcically catastrophic degenerated into complete hopelessness. And its all about hope. I don’t know who actually invented hope but I reckon it was a nasty, vindictive Arsenal fan. Called Billy Hope. In 1426. So when we – Read More-
The world’s at war. We’re joining in; slowly, reluctantly, obediently, and a bit pathetically. But war it is. Because the cause is so noble. Even though the people who started it can’t really put their fingers on the precise reasons for the war, the Orange One changes that particular goalpost every couple of days. Along – Read More-
So I only travel into town on my e-bike on ‘zero days’. Every hour on the BBC weather app marked zero chance of rain. If numbers appear. I take the tube. Until today. There’s lots of rain forecast for this afternoon, but… the tube is suffering major fuckage. On the Northern Line. And, just to – Read More-