Nadine Dorries! I mean, Nadine Dorries!!! How dare she??? The Secretary of State for… well, lots of stuff, but ‘telly’ is included so we’ll skip the rest for current purposes, has not merely declared war on the BBC, but actually administered the death knell! And although no-one actually gives a shit for that antiquated, totally – Read More-
I had flu yesterday. It was horrible. Terrible. Debilitating. I was fit for nothing other than lying in bed feeling awful. My skin hurt. All of it. Ok, playing tennis probably didn’t help it but in my defence I didn’t realise what was going on at that point. I tested myself, even though I already – Read More-
Helleow, I’m you’re Queen. Elizabeth. You know the one. Old. Wrinkly. Sweet. Royal. And I wish to address you, the entire population of my nation, on the matter of ‘the son who cannot be named’. The Un-Son, but not in the heroic sense. And I am deeply, profoundly saddened to have to announce that as – Read More-
I should have been a superhero. No question at all. I should have been Superman. Possibly Batman (though his own ‘superpower’ was excessive wealth, and I wouldn’t object to that), maybe ‘Flash’, for obvious and ambiguity reasons, I was never that keen on Thor or Green Lantern because I was worried if I dropped my – Read More-
I hate it when I get things right. I hate those ‘I told you so moments’ because anyone can be right. The whole point of these pages is to be as wrong as possible as often as possible. Where’s the fun in being right? After Boris’s disastrous vote in December when 99 of his own – Read More-
On behalf of all Serbians the world over, I’d like to offer a statement of congratulations to our brother and son, Novax Djokovic for his ‘biggest victory of all time’ in the courthouse in Melbourne yesterday. He has always been a ground breaker and a champion of many causes but yesterday was indeed a high – Read More-
We returned to life yesterday. Just for the afternoon. We went to the cinema. That place people used to go to to see films before Covid invented Netflix. We had to. Some things are just an imperative. Like, f’rinstance, if one of the most fab films ever, like West Side Story, was re-made, perhaps, by – Read More-
Remember when Covid first started? All those years ago? And the first thing people did, quite sensibly, before they’d sorted out their home workstations, picked up the kids from school, worked out what ‘2 metres’ looked like, was to go and buy toilet rolls. I did. I rented a van, took Mel and two wheelbarrows – Read More-
Have you had Covid? That’s the big question. Well, fairly big. Because I haven’t. And, by all rights, I should have had it by now. 170,000 people a day can’t all be wrong. Yet for me and for Mel, we remain excluded from this ever-growing club of victims. I’ve been traveling on the tube every – Read More-
This morning, after a tragic failure at diplomatic peace attempts (3 Serbian women dancing in Melbourne wearing flags), Serbia has officially declared war on Australia. And this state of war will remain the status quo until the Australian atrocities, known henceforth as ‘The Djokovich 1’, are resolved to satisfaction. And I’m fully supportive of the – Read More-