Boris Johnson doesn’t play tennis. He thinks he does, in those ridiculous pink floral shorts, but he doesn’t. He’s as ‘sporty’ as a kilo of extra-mature cheddar. To play tennis you have to look like Roger Federer. Or like me. You have to have grace, elegance, a tennis racquet, style, a winning serve and a – Read More-
So you leave home Monday morning, earlier than usual due to staff shortages, but you’re buoyed by the lovely weekend, spirits lifted like the American women lifting the World Cup (female variety) on Sunday afternoon, its bright and sunny, Wimbledon’s around and it feels like ‘there’s everything to play for’. Then you arrive at the – Read More-
When you read about Italian food, they seldom mention whose side that nation fought on in the war. Similarly, you rarely find a Siamese restaurant, not cos the food’s shit but just because they call it ‘Thai’. In reviews of American diners or purveyors of vast quantities of smoked meats (America doesn’t really do ‘cuisine’ – Read More-
There’s a fascinating article in today’s paper telling all fathers exactly what they need to know about daughters. But, like, who’s it for? Everyone who is a father of daughters already knows everything. And we had to learn it ‘from first principles’. And basically, if you have a daughter, or, like me and Spurs Paul – Read More-
So the printer at home started doing funny things. Like dragging half a ream of paper into the carriage at one go, then saying ‘paper jam!!’ Like, ‘no shit!’ And ‘well who fucking jammed it???’ I showed my brother. Who comes round to play bridge every week, but as he’s a professional compooooter troubleshooter and – Read More-
Tottenham Hotspur have signed a new football player!!! It’s true. In fact they’ve signed two!!! And everyone thought we were just ‘done’ with the transfer market forever. As long as Harry Kane breathes air there shall be NO MORE PLAYERS in our club. We had enough. Loads of ‘em. You only need 11, FFS, and – Read More-
Wimbledon’s here. Well, its always here, just round the corner from Kingston upon Thames, if you can face the journey. Down the A3. Follow the roadworks all the way and you can’t miss it. But I mean ‘Wimbledon!’ The tennis tournament. And again, I mean ‘THE’ tennis tournament. There are loads of others, some of – Read More-
We popped over to my old mate’s yesterday. And when I say ‘popped’, I actually mean ‘struggled for hours against he hoards of incompetent lane-blockers, reverse-gear-only tossers, clueless fuckers and, even more profoundly, ROADWORKS!!!’ Because my mate lives in Kingston. The one that’s ‘upon Thames’ though its probably quicker to get the Jamaica one on – Read More-
In 2008 Lehman Brothers, the American investment bank, went bankrupt. The fourth largest investment bank in the States was the first and certainly largest casualty of the ‘sub-prime’ loans scandal and of other really dubious investments vehicles, created by arrogance and greed by people who thought themselves ‘untouchable’ by virtue of their immense and obscene – Read More-
The wonderful G20 summit is just about to come to a close. That super event in which the leaders of the top 20 economic powers in the entire (known) universe come together and… and… and show how much they fucking hate each other. It’s not supposed to be like that. It’s supposed to be like – Read More-