They have officially found not one but two people in the world who actually give a shit about Colleen Rooney. Amazing, when you think about it. But these two individuals are the ‘rubbish-content bidding mavens’ of Amazon TV and Disney Plus. They not only have the usual, peripheral, inconsequential, irrelevant awareness of Mrs Rooney that – Read More-
If you’ve ever been lucky enough, or keen enough, to hear ‘the 2,000 year old man’, the ad lib comedy sketch with Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks, you might remember what ‘the greatest achievement he’d seen in his 2000 years of living’. Brooks’ answer: ‘cling film’. And he was right. (Mel Brooks was ALWAYS right). – Read More-
Well that was quick. Yup, it was. Just a short, sharp burst of skiing to see… the mountains?, because I missed them?, if I could still ski?, if I still liked it?, whatever. Three days, wham, bam (though, thank the Lord, not literally), ski a few hundred k and come back IN ONE PIECE. Job – Read More-
Of course, I forgot to mention yesterday the other BIG thing about skiing, once the horrors of ‘pre-par-ay-shun’ are done and you’re ready to head downhill. It pays just to spend a few seconds looking around. Because although you go ‘downhill’, it’s actually a mountain. One of many, cos they hunt in packs, these Alps. – Read More-
So here’s what you do. You wake up at 4 in the morning so you can get to the airport by 5 to sit in the regular EasyJet luxurious discomfort for 2 hours, get into a car for another hour or so, get stuffed into as many layers of clothing as you can find in – Read More-
There was a time when there were but three, measly tv channels. BBC2 finished at about 11pm, the other 2 went on a little longer. We never thought: “oh, this is shit! We need 56 channels showing repeats of Top Gear, all night long and re-runs of old football matches, plus, we need channels where – Read More-
So now will you listen? Now do you get that I’m so brilliantly… brilliant!, that my instincts and what have previously been known as ‘mishigarsim’ (insane ideas), are in fact true, correct, wonderful and SCIENTIFICALLY VALIDATED!!! All those people who’ve been campaigning for years to have me sectioned under the mental health act can eat – Read More-
When I went to summer camp, aged about 14, I spent some time snogging. Its what you do when you’re 14. Hours of it. Sometimes with other people. And one gel who was rather cute had what could be called ‘a slight overbite’. Not the full Bugs Bunny, just a bit toothy, in a good – Read More-
I was going to tell you today of my day with The Brutalist yesterday (and ‘day’ it is, no ‘shortie’ that movie) but then… events!!! occurred which are simply too overwhelming to ignore or delay. Its all a matter of priorities, as ‘the legend’ told me, and as, (according to him), he’s never wrong, we – Read More-
So Zelensky said that Trump lives in a world of disinformation, so Trump called him a ‘dictator’ and accused him of ‘starting the war’ and so Starmer (as if anyone even listened to him outside of our sceptered Isle) sided with Zelensky, and Trump is left sucking up to Putin and I think we’re on – Read More-