So we’re on our way to Kea island. Where???? You may well ask. Middle’afuckin’ nowhere, is the short answer. Possibly ‘middle of the Aegean Sea. Same difference. We were looking for a break, a quick holiday to raise the spirits and rest the souls and enhance Mrs Conway’s suntan. And me mate Mark begged me, – Read More-
War is brutal. Bloody. Gruesome. Nasty. So when Putin offers a serious warning, verging on an outright threat, it must be stressed most strongly that he is NOT talking about Arsenal playing Spurs tomorrow. He’s talking about that other conflict, the lesser one, over in Ukraine (currently). And although many might see comparisons between these – Read More-
There’s only one class of people we should all aspire to. Those right at the top of the status tree. Who are so important, so exalted, revered and, yes, so HOLY, that appointments to see them are more difficult to arrange than those with your doctor. Or lawyer, plumber, dentist or even MP. It’s easier – Read More-
Years ago, on a creative writing course, I wrote a story about how we’re becoming so stuck in the cyber world that eventually we’ll ‘evolve’ into some kind of hybrid, linked permanently to a computer by some kind of horrible, organic USB… thing from our belly-buttons. That was prophetic as it was about 25 years – Read More-
Do you watch the film or read the book? Rebecca. To Kill a Mockingbird. The Godfather. Rosemary’s Baby. Anything by Stephen King (except ‘Shawshank’ which no-one realises he wrote). What’s better? The book or the film? Well why not be greedy and do both? You read a book (they always precede; any books that come – Read More-
My Dear Chancellor of the Exchequer, I’d just like to take this opportunity to thank you so much for finally understanding the needs of the country so perfectly. As I see it, there are three groups of people in this fine and verdant land: Those, like me, signed off sick for the last 22 years – Read More-
My mate the Hindu once said to me about his brother-in-law, a Seikh; “lovely people, the Seikhs, very war-like”. And yet here we are today with Britain’s Seikhs trying to claim that Islam was spread ‘by the sword’. Trying, because saying such a sentence would now be classed as ‘Islamaphobic’, should the definition of that – Read More-
The heading of today’s little piece is a play on words. Not a very good one. Best I could come up with at short notice. I needed something which implied ‘Lammy’ and ‘ated’. Cos we all ‘ate David Lammy. I mentioned him yesterday for, essentially, being a fuckwit, but quite frankly, having reviewed the situation – Read More-
This is a week of excitement. In relative terms. Because this week sees the first round of voting to decide who will be the next leader of the Conservative Party! And life doesn’t get more exciting than that. The battle to become the leader of the smallest minority opposition party since 1732. Yet it’s important. – Read More-
Oh my god, it’s the best news ever!!! Well, unfortunately Kier Starmer is still the PM, Russians are still in Ukraine, Israeli hostages are being found dead, I’m still in danger of freezing in the winter without my heating allowance, but there’s a rumour that… Harry is coming home!!! Like, the Prince? Red headed dude? – Read More-