Like the King, I’m sending a Christmas message this year to all my loyal subjects. Otherwise known as ‘the plebs’. Because those of us in high office should always realise and appreciate that there are commoners, ‘working people’ and other versions of ‘scum’, all over the country, at this very moment fighting each other over – Read More-
There’s 3 things I would never do. Vote for Nigel Farage. Ok, or Kier Starmer. Sing any song with ‘Ar-sen-allll’ in the lyrics. Go on hunger strike. Unless they held it in Dishoom and let me cheat. Some of the Hunger Strikers are up to their 50th days. Its getting horrible. They’re in wheelchairs. Their – Read More-
Ever been to Shinjuku station in Tokyo? Its a city. Allegedly ‘the busiest railway station in the world’, it is without question the most confusing. Its on 3 floors, all with shops and restaurants, covers about 197 square miles and you can’t get out. Its impossible to find ‘the street’. Let alone the actual street – Read More-
I’m going to fight Anthony Joshua. How hard can it be? He’s only ‘human’. Ok, he’s 6 foot 5inches of 110kgs of solid rock, but he’s human. Therefore I can beat him at boxing. Usyk beat him and he’s just a Ukranian thug. So I reckon I could do that too. And here’s why I’m – Read More-
Look, it’s not just Jesus who celebrates his birthday in December, 2 days ago I had my 69-and-a-half-th birthday. Thanks for your fucking cards!!! And good tidings!! Anyway, as old age rushes upon me so quickly that even I realise I might have to stop acting like an adolescent any time soon, one must concern – Read More-
Anthony Albanese, the Australian tosser and Prime Minister, spoke movingly on Sunday about the Bondi Beach murders. How ‘this is not just an attack on the Jewish community, but on Australian values and way of life’, kind’a thing. He didn’t really have a lot of choice, did he? 15 people get murdered out on a – Read More-
There are so many things that bother me about yesterday’s fucking horrific murders in Sydney that, quite frankly, I don’t know where to start. But inspired by The Sound of Music (as all my life is ruled by awful Julie Andrews movies either featuring really bad Cockney accents or ones with children running from nazis), – Read More-
I love brunch. I hardly ever partook of such a meal as I’d worked out that if you combine breakfast with lunch, you’re effectively losing out on a meal. Why not have brunchinner and just eat once a day? I mean? Really? Yet as a concept it’s a good one. Because you can eat breakfast – Read More-
Europe is ‘decaying’, according to Donald Trump. And in some respects he’s right. Europe’s growth is shit compared to America’s. But the main reason for the ‘decay’ is, as he sees it, immigration. And in some respects he’s right there too. So he’s taken up a ‘pro-Putin’ stance, or maybe, a stance of Putin appeasement, – Read More-
The government’s ‘obesity tsar’ has made a new law. And it reads thus: “From hereon thereafter and from this day forth, women, trans-women, almost women and a few camp men shall be offered food portions of a lesser volume and weight than those given to people with testicles, people who wish they had testicles or – Read More-