The alarm went off this morning at 7.20, as it does every saturday. When I go downstairs and make tea, bring it to my dear wife, because I’m the best husband in the entire history of husbands, along with the newspaper. Ok, also because when she goes swimming four mornings a week at 6.45, she – Read More-
The answer to the question is: ‘when he’s a total c-‘, when he’s an obnoxious, arrogant, unapologetic, remorseless, unsympathetic cretin. You act like that, they take away your very Princey-ness. They can do that. His brother can do that. And he did. Because whatever good the Royals may have been doing; waving really nicely, shaking – Read More-
So King Charles is ‘at work’, on Monday, walking round Lichfield Cathedral, smiling, shaking hands, waving, usual Royal busy-work, and some rude, nasty, anti-royal, disrespectful, probably Chelsea-supporting, moron shouts out abuse regarding Prince Andrew and asking whether MY KING!!!, His Royal Highness-ness, knew about the Epstein link and implied that the King of all England – Read More-
Under our new manager, Thomas Frank, Spurs have opted for a revolutionary method of team selection. The model is familiar in NFL, where your team members are role specific. So your ‘defence’ team is 11 completely different geezers from your ‘offence’ team. Then you have 11 more on ‘special teams’. And a few spares. So – Read More-
It’s totally amazing. The event of a lifetime. The most ‘must see’ event for 500 years!! Pope Leo (little bald geezer, white dress, big hat) and King Charles (little grey geezer, dark suit, crown) are praying together!! At the same time! Like… together!!! For the first time in 500 years, an English monarch and a – Read More-
According to heroin addicts, one of the few addictions I’ve managed to avoid, the first time you ‘use’ gives you such an amazing ‘high’ that the rest of your ‘career’ is spent trying to relive that. And, obviously, failing. Tragically. Chocolate’s the same. An addiction I know plenty about. When I was 10 months old – Read More-
Virginia Giuffre’s posthumous memoir comes out today. I read it. Ok, I can’t read it, its not available here. Not sure I want to anyway. I like reading happy books. Like Stephen King. Slow Horses. Not the memoirs of a dead bird famous for shaggin’ a Prince. But in fact, its much more than that. – Read More-
I’d like to announce that forthwith and henceforth, I shall no longer use the title ‘Lord’, nor ‘Duke’, ‘Count’, ‘Viscount’, ‘Viceroy’ or ‘God’. From this day forth I shall just known as Prince, Master of all he surveys and Most Important Brother of the FUCKING KING HIMSELF!!! I make this immense sacrifice in response to – Read More-
We have a expression. For when you’re team loses an important game (and please note: there is no such thing as an ‘unimportant’ game, other than when England are playing). And you moan, you cry, you shout, smash a few plant pots and call your therapist. That’s when your mate says: ‘its only football’. Its – Read More-
We, at the Oxford Union, at the Palestine Solidarity Campaign, at the Epsom Downs Crocheting Society for Ladies, and at the Association for Over-Privileged Tossers Wearing Keffiahs, have absolutely NO intention of stopping our weekly marches to Free Palestine, re-instal the terrorists, eliminate Israel, kill all Jews and declare the Royal Borough of Kensington and – Read More-