I’ve never been to Dubai. I will do. Just as soon as I’ve bought the gold Ferrari, finished the gold leaf of the toilet seat and had the Range Rover diamond-encrusted. Also, if I’m honest, Mel and I need a ‘bit of work done’ before we’d feel comfortable in the Emirates Airlines first class lounge. – Read More-
I grew up in a different world. Kids were allowed to have fun, and most unusual for anyone born after 1970 to understand, we were allowed freedom. Jeffrey Epstein wasn’t invented until 2013, Jimmy Savile was still a national (vomit) treasure, even though there was not one person in the entire nation to whom he – Read More-
The foot is fine. Thanks for asking. So fine, I’ve forgotten about it. And I forgot today when I played tennis. In the glorious sunshine (good thing) and the howling winds (bad thing). The arctic temperatures we can cope with (indifferent thing, but shrivelled testicles is a bad thing). And feeling young and fit and – Read More-
Meta and Google have been found guilty of making kids addicted to ‘social media’. So fuck Meta and Google. They can afford the law suit which surely won’t amount to much more than… 5 million quid times… every kid in America plus… lawyer’s fees… errrrr… about 537 billion dollars. Plus change. Because the floodgates are – Read More-
I’ve changed. Don’t worry, I’m still gorgeous and fabulous and magnificent in every way, but I’ve changed. From being a professional optician, a football fan, political critic and devotee of all the arts (as long as its not ballet, opera or… or art), who happened to be Jewish; I’m now a professional Jew who works, – Read More-
As political statements go, this was a doozy. As a protest, it kind’a lacked direction. Even as an act of terrorism, it had all the logic of blowing up your own car. It was ‘shitting on your own doorstep’. Because these 3 total fuckwits decided to blow up 4 ambulances. The very vehicles which may – Read More-
So life is good. Unless you’re a Spurs fan. Or an Arsenal fan. Or a West Ham fan. (Wolves and Burnley fans don’t count; they don’t live round here). And if you just ‘put yesterday’s match’ into the deepest, furthest reaches of your mind; where you never look. When you force those thoughts away into – Read More-
The miracle of the mangled foot continues to the point where people are going to be coming round with their sick, their ailing, their dying and get me to ‘lay hands’ upon them to ‘heal’ them. Or maybe lay my foot on them. It’ll be like Lourdes, but in north-west London. Because I played tennis – Read More-
I had an ‘incident’ on my bike yesterday, coming home from work. I turned a corner, ‘banking’ as you do on a bike, and my left foot hit the road and my motion yanked the foot under the pedal, pulling it under like they do to bind feet, in Old China. But I wasn’t in – Read More-
I feel sorry for Muslims. Because Islamophobia is real and it’s common. And like all phobias, it’s not particularly rational. Britain, along with all ‘patriotic’ nations, especially ones filled with white people, houses more than its fair share of xenophobes. And you can’t do anything about it. Its inbred, its ‘hereditary’, its learned and its – Read More-