For some reason, we’re watching our way through ‘Luther’. Why we’re watching a series which began 16 years ago I have no idea. Someone said (someone is ALWAYS saying ‘watch this’, ‘watch that’, its the nature of streaming), ‘watch Luther’, and we duly did. Are. Cos there’s lots of them and we don’t do ‘binging’, – Read More-
That’s a metaphor. False dawn. You know what it means. If not, you should. And yet today, as I wake to blue skies and sunshine, I’m living the metaphor. Because mornings like this shout at me to: GET THE E-BIKE OUT!!! As it’s been laying dormant, hibernating for the winter. Well, for the wet. I – Read More-
It is now 7 days before the Spurs Arsenal match. Next Sunday afternoon. I’m going to try to be busy elsewhere. To avoid the nail-biting, sweating, swearing, suicidal, tea-spilling, table-thumping, head-banging, wife-beating (as if) anxiety that match produces. I haven’t been to a live derby game in about 10 years. And cringe my way through – Read More-
It’s going back. The Electric Vehicle. Next month is the third anniversary of our lease agreement and those fuckers are taking it back! Some anniversary present that is. Congrats. Three years. Give it back or we send the bailiffs. And we’ll miss it. Because in some ways, it’s the most fantastic vehicle ever created. Smooth, – Read More-
That’s the first time I’ve ever written those lyrics down from Kate Bush’s classic, 100-year-old song. And therefore it’s the first time I’ve realised that ‘winedy’ and ‘windy’ are spelt the same way. How clever she was. Anyway, we’re once again celebrating Wuthering Heights, Emily Bronte’s classic novel, the finest one she ever wrote. Ok, – Read More-
Life ‘down the Lane’ is never dull. The football is; that’s fucking dire. But life is sparkling. The kebab shops have never had it so good. As yet one more manager bites the dust. 8 months; plenty of time to turn round the fortunes of any football club. Didn’t do it; he’s gone; and the – Read More-
We don’t choose our brothers. They’re just, kind’a ‘there’. And if you’re really unlucky, you lose one, like I did, to the curse of cancer, and if you’re even more unlucky, you get (the former) Prince Andrew as yours. Like the King did. Who yesterday stated that he’d be happy to assist the police in – Read More-
I’m the luckiest man in the world. I’m not a football fan. Because nothing could be worse. Ok, one thing: I could be a Spurs fan!! And every day, as I wake in the morning, and pray to the Lord for my eyes, my ears and, in particular, my penis, I add another prayer that – Read More-
The rugby Six Nations starts this week. Brilliant, I love a rugby international. I can even tolerate the women’s rugby internationals, if I have to. All those thighs bouncing around in the mud; its like a return to the 1970s values, without all the moustaches. Ok, with less moustaches. And, of course, English women’s rugby – Read More-
In Oliver Twist, Mrs Bumble coins the phrase ‘the law is an ass’. (In the upcoming production of that very play, by our local ‘Razz’ youth group, the role of Mrs Bumble will be played by none other than MY LILA!!!!) So the law is an ass. And yesterday that Dickensian motto was given new – Read More-