I’d like to completely deconstruct England’s amazing victory last night against Norway. In the World Cup. Quarter-FUCKING-final!!!! The semis now await my boys. Argentina. Who last night struggled to beat Switzerland. A country constructed from the ‘bits’ of Italy, Germany and France which no-one else wanted. All those horrible fucking mountains. Who needs ‘em. Then, – Read More-
Our Prime Minister-in-waiting wants to ‘devolve’ the nation. Let the ‘locals’ run their regions. Great plan. I like it. Who’s paying? Oh. London pays. Which, to be honest, no-one in London minds. Most don’t even think about it. But I do. Not because I’m clever, but because I’m annoying. So when I heard that Andy’s – Read More-
When Lila was born, 9 years ago, I became somewhat… besotted. I put a photo of her on these very pages. To share the celebration of her very existence. Because she was the most special grandchild EVER born. Ok, because she was mine, I get that, but… she’s breathing!!!, gurgling!!!, feeding!!!, pissing!!!, it was all – Read More-
Football has become too unruly, the rules too ambiguous, too subject to contextual interpretation by highly qualified individuals, (and no-one wants that), too inconsistent. Even, or perhaps because of, VAR, which hasn’t really solved anything. We need certainty. We need clarity and consistency. So here are the NEW rules, which will be adopted totally by – Read More-
So I went to bed last night, wearing my England shirt (its quite old; has ‘Styles 6’ on the back) at 10.30, read my book, then turned off the light, went to sleep and woke up with my alarm at 12.30. I Rushed round to the Clissold Arms, ordered two pints of Guinness, and joined – Read More-
As you know; despite my love of the ‘beautiful game’, I simply couldn’t ‘engage’ with the World Cup. Ok, few snippets on the news, the last 12 minutes of Zaire vs Madagascar, but generally: nyah; can’t be arsed. And then it changed. Wonderfully, totally, fabulously and yes, ENGAGINGLY!!! The reason for this metamorphosis from Johnny – Read More-
I went to the Albert Hall last night. Went to see Jeff Goldblum and his ‘jazz ensemble’. Which weren’t really that ‘jazzy’, but were definitely an ensemble. Loads of ’em. And they were really superb. Whilst Jeff walked around, mainly chatting, joking, laughing, generally… just being Jeff Goldblum. But with a bit of singing and – Read More-
Today’s heading was intended as word play. Between incense, the smelly wooden things which hippies used to burn in order to commune with their inner yogis, and incense, the feeling of extreme anger following some form of tragic, possibly catastrophic, injustice, like getting a parking ticket. Then I realised that my odd and low-level dyslexia – Read More-
When you get old, there’s only the past. The future is… uncertain. In length and quality. But the thing is; the future is completely unknown and the past so full of rich and wonderful memories. Hence the business of nostalgia. Which sounds like it’s a rheumatic condition affecting the… errrr… nostrils, but is in fact – Read More-
Andy Burnham hasn’t even started the leadership contest for his own political party yet. He’s only been an MP for 2 weeks. And yet is fast becoming burnt out, before he’s even started. The cynical way he was boosted onto the path to Noombah 10 (as he calls it; before he moves it to Manchester, – Read More-