I’m still on holiday. Got back Tuesday, skived off yesterday to… errrr… unpack? Whatever. And today is Joey/Lila day. And a very important one. Because this new term, Joey is no longer in the ‘infants’, but has moved to the junior school!!! Which is a bit like university but with more toys. In fact, he’s – Read More-
So we’d just got in the car in a car park outside Le Touquet, when a young woman comes up to my window and asks if she can take a photo of the car. Of course, I said, bien sur! Where do you want ME?? (Cos it’s all about me). I’m ready with my best – Read More-
We have almost devotional belief in Waze. The navigation system. The one used by Uber, by all the driverless cars coming soon and everybody who ever wants to get anywhere. Which I’ll admit, excludes about 90% of road users who drive like they never want to get anywhere. But as we always say: in Waze – Read More-
It’s our last day here. It’s been fab. Loving northern France. And tomorrow we drive back to Calais, then hop on the train and whizz back from Folkstone. Ever tried ‘whizzing’ through the Blackwall Tunnel? It’s pretty much ‘whizz proof’. But you can’t come back through Dartford because for some reason the traffic is simply – Read More-
I’m just lovin’ this whole Deauville/Trouville thing. I just hope war doesn’t break out between them whilst we’re here. As you can see, on the map of Trouville, on the right; Deauville is just a sliver. On the map of Deauville, on the left, it’s blanked out. I mean, WTF? You can walk from one – Read More-
Before we travel anywhere we do our research. What languages are spoken; the local customs and protocols, and a comprehensive history of the area to understand local issues and sensitivities. Ok, that’s not true at all. We book, we go, we wing it. Just like everyone does. How hard can it be? People are people; – Read More-
How many steps have we walked?!!??! is a common question today. My stock answer is ‘don’t care’. Because who really fucking cares to quantify a lovely walk. It’s an abusive form of reductionism. Because walking is not about how many steps, nor how far you go. It’s about where you are. Possibly who you’re with. – Read More-
Good things about Le Touquet. Its beautiful. Everywhere. Almost too beautiful. Achingly so. Every view as you walk around is more stunning than the previous one. And that one was fabulous. The town is immaculate, the avenues wide, tree-lined and perfect, the houses and apartment buildings simply magnifique, the parks, the beach, the whole seafront, – Read More-
I’m going to France. Today. We’re driving. Across the water. With the help of a train, apparently. And I’m going there to help those poor people. Because their men are being kidnapped by older women. We all know that the precedent was set by the President. He married a woman, (we think she’s a woman, – Read More-
I’m addressing the nation, for the first time, from down here in God-forsaken Loondoon. I want to tell you of my vision for the coontreh, and for us all. How life oonder me is going to be just marvellous and woonderful. Because I feel your pain. I am just an ordinary man, just one who – Read More-