Good Morning people of Great Britain. I am your Prime Minister, Boris Johnson. Middle name ‘Disaster’. And I speak to you today with good news. In fact, great news. News so profound, fabulous and wonderful that you’ll love me forever (I can live without that, if I’m honest, which I try never to be) and – Read More-
Well whilst we’re getting all pc and woke about awards ceremonies, I wish to challenge the offensive, prejudicial and highly inflammatory nature of the ‘Brits’ themselves. It’s all very well deciding to ‘remove gender based titles’ for awards, no longer having ‘best male’ and ‘best female’ categories, but the very name ‘Brit’ is a massive – Read More-
Jimmy Carr is in trouble. Big trouble. He stands on the trial in the Supreme Court of Social Media for… telling a joke. Holy Shitttt!!! He told a joke!!! Bastard. You just can’t do that in 2022, its simply not allowed. Even if its funny. Which it probably is to some degree, hence the word – Read More-
Her Majesty The Queen has announced (henceforth and forthwith and stuff) that Camilla Parker Bowles Windsor, the official Tart-Consort of His Majesty The Prince of Wales, (since he was about 12), shall, upon her abdication from the throne, whence Charles ascendeth to Kingdom of the Kingdom, be known, officially and foreverafter as The Queen Consort. – Read More-
Well there is some good news for Boris, his political life is not a 100% total fucking nightmare shit-storm of chaos and stupidity. Because on Thursday the Conservative Party won a bye-election! Well that’s something, surely? Yeah, usually. But this was a weird one. No other major parties stood. Only the Psychedelic Party, which came – Read More-
Not one but two Premiership footballers are under arrest for rape. And other charges. Which makes you wonder whether it is actually true that ‘all men are rapists’ and the other 847 top-flight footballers just haven’t been caught yet, or whether there’s something in football which engenders, empowers, corrupts or predisposes men towards a path – Read More-
Ok, so we’ve established that I don’t watch tennis on tv. Other than Wimbledon, which is sacred. Yet I have been known to ‘catch’ the odd glimpse of a final. If its a big one. And not only for Emma Raducanu. Which is why Sunday just caught me by surprise. Because I knew it was – Read More-
Having waited about 3 weeks for Sue Grey’s report, only to have the police steam in and insist on a greatly reduced content so as not to upset their own inquiry, I’ve had to simply produce my own one. I’m not a patient man and the world needs to know the truth. Cos they ain’t – Read More-
Don’t fuck with Darwin! That’s the golden rule among Spurs fans, evolutionary dabblers, life insurance salesmen and Jurassic Parkers. If you try and re-wire evolution, you are basically messing with God. So recent tales that they’re going to ‘remake’ a Wooly Mammoth, should send a shudder down any vertebrate’s spine. Mainly cos no-one else has – Read More-
I must admit to not having watched any of the Australian Open tennis tournament. I should have. I love tennis. I play tennis. I watch every second of Wimbledon I can find. But the Aussie… and the French… New York… nyeh, not so keen. They’re every bit as Grand Slammy as Wimbledon but just not – Read More-